peace with myself

MOVED, YES.. MOVED!!!!

2009-05-07T12:59:00.000-07:00

THIS BLOG HAS BEEN MOVED TO ... HERE .

i will no longer post anything on this blog, this blog will be deleted SOON, so you can find me on my brand new blog.. thank you so much, guests. and keep blogging!

*cheers, Sarah.

relationship and its own things..

2009-04-11T11:37:00.000-07:00

My friend tagged me her note, and here is the note :

a super slut (not super star. cause she's an actress) take all of her clothes in front of my boyfriend. what should i do?
*make some scratch on her face?
*bunch her hair?
or
*still believe with him?
WHAT SHOULD I DO?!!! it makes me insane slowly.

I was confused what I should write her, after finally I wrote :

i think scratch her face should be great, you've long and sharp nails, ahahahahaaa! Ah don't take it too complicated, you haven't seen whether your BF is effected or not, the faith will set him. =)

It was bit shocking me, I know on previous that she’s fine with her BF, then why she came and tagged me a note like that? *questioning*

Do you think it’s helping or not? Whatever..

Tonight, my friend told me what chronologically happened. That girl took off her clothes while her (my friend) BF was watching TV, then swung her clothes near him (the BF), the BF was curious, “whose these?”, he babbled, a way before he looked that was a naked girl in front of his eyes. Every man should be shocked of course, and it could be a fantastic view for him, hahaha! The BF tried to be a trustworthy by telling my friend that accident. However, who wouldn’t be afraid if our partner tells about that to us? Everyone would, I think, and it’s normal in every similar condition.

I’m wondering, why that girl dared herself to be naked where she knows there’s a boy near her? In addition, why she didn’t use the toilet or another costume room!? Oh Lord, seems every relationship problem begins with a stupid matter. We usually hear or read or whatever the way is, somebody has a break up with her/his partner because an-uninvited-person. Then the faith will work, the trust will appear, back on how that person allow them to control the relationship, not by anger anymore. Anger is good for self-survival but not that good for relationship problems’ solution. I’m not an expert on love things, but I bet (as I told you before), the relationship is not about love alone, we need such several other things to get it long-lasting, and I think the faith, the trust, the hopes, and our religious manner are included.. =)

trashy story, don't read if you haven't got enough time

2009-04-04T11:02:00.000-07:00

I don’t even know what my lecturers were thinking about. They gave me the deadline before Easter Holiday. Really, really asshole! Okay, due to catholic university, i always have 3 days holiday on Christians’ holy week, start on Maundy Thursday (no, not on Ash Wednesday, we still have a class and be busy), then Good Friday, Holy Saturday, finally end on Palm Sunday (or paschal). I’m now not going to explain about those days, I’m not a liturgy and I have nothing with it. I’m blind.

What I’m talking about is that I’m going to curse my pre-holy week assignments which make me swear that I’ll be dead on Wednesday, LOL. My nerve is just on the top of head, I become panicky, and for God’s sake, I HATE BEING LIKE THIS, I HATE!!! I haven't got good sleep, the time was running out (like a song's title, hahaha!), and was more important than money (no 'time is money' left, now time is more than everything. haah, too much!!)

I’m trapped in the catholic uni which has (too) high-standardization and we (students) need to work out of our capability if we want to graduate on the time. Hell what? I just want my certificate, my title, be a cum laude, why do they make it so hard? What an anal! *out of control, I’m sorry for my uneducated speaking* I’m not the follower of Christ but If Jesus resurrected (again?) in front of my eyes, I’d asked Him to see how shit my lecturers are. It’s not a good action to cursing lecturers, I know, but have to express my anger before it’s exploded, before I’m depressed, I have to save my self from anything, hahahaha, another too much!

my best friends, hahahaha! FCK! i don't need lecturer,
i just need these.

I almost cried at class this morning, my lecturer said about the deadline would be on Wednesday, and on Tuesday I have to collect my scoring-and-or-interpreting task (it’s not easy, I remind you! It is about somebody’s life, I need to be professional with extra compulsive and carefully thinking), then on Wednesday I’ll give a presentation but yet with collect that psychometrics-hectic assignment. Just (subjectively) saying, psychometrics is the most disgusting subject ever, and that is the only subject which makes me suffering *inhaling, exhaling*. Actually, all I need is a time out, just a while, why I can’t have it? I have a right to take my time out, but I think my lecturer doesn’t want to give it. Ok, if like that, i'll take it on my own.

Fiuhh. Tired. God, I’m tired. I’m bored, and silently crying. I feel like I can’t do this, seems like it’s getting harder and harder. This condition is so slugging me. I have to be more creative to keep my sane, to struggle with, and finally pass it. But how? Everyone gives me shit, everything is an ass, and everytime is a stuck out.
I think it’s enough. I have to back to my real life, face it through, dead or still alive, there’s always a strength.
i wish, i can enjoy my holy-week holiday fully. amin amin amiin.

According to Alexander the great : “a wise man knows when to stop”, and now I stop.

we left each other

2009-03-29T09:44:00.000-07:00

Weew, it has been a year! About a year ago, on a same date, same month, my ex and me decided to end our relationship up. I forgot this day firstly, but my ex suddenly text me, here is my via-text message conversation :

Him : “hei, hari ini tanggal 29 ya, hehehe! (hey, today is 29^th, isn’t? LOL)”.
Me : “hahah, OMG iya ya, aku lupa! Ya ampun, udah setahun ya! (OMG, yes it is, I forget! Oh my, it has been a year!)”
Him : “iya Rah, aku lagi ngerayain sama temen-temen, hehehe. Sejujurnya, aku nggak dan belum bisa menghapus kamu dari ati aku, tapi aku juga tau, aku nggak mungkin bisa balik lagi ke hidupmu, walaupun aku udah berusaha lupain dengan jadian ama cewek lain, sampe akhirnya putus lagi, tetep kamu yang ada di dalam hatiku. Sampai detik ini setiap tanggal 29, aku masih ngerayain. (yes Rah, i’m now celebrating it with my friends, LOL. Honestly, I haven’t been, and can’t erase you from my heart. Although I’ve tried to forget you with have a relationship with another girl, until broke up, you’re still in my heart. Till this time on every 29^th, I always celebrate it.”
Me : =) =) =) (read : speechless)
Him : “ ^_^ maaf Rah, aku masih cinta kamu. (I’m sorry Rah, I still love you)”
Me : =) =) =) (read : speechless again)
Him : “bisa nggak aku ketemu kamu? Aku kangen. (can i meet you? I miss you)
Me : “bisa. Nanti aku kabarin kamu. (yes, we can. I’ll contact you later)”
Him : oke. Good night Rah, met bobo. (Ok, Good night Rah, sleep well)

After that, I was just thinking about him, about us. Our memories, our fights, our intimacy, togetherness, everything. We had so many things; and it’s definitely hard for me to forget those. We actually belong to the different religion, I am Muslim, and he’s catholic. My dad was disagreed with our relationship, and so was his mum. My mum never mentioned it, she is more liberal than my dad, and his dad is Muslim too, he was fine. His mum is the most disagreed person, she had tried more and more to separate us, and he (my ex) used to be careful in every step he takes if it’s related to me, like make a phone call, sms, go out, and so on. And you know, have a backstreet relationship isn’t always good and easy. Sometimes it’s getting harder in some situations. But believe it or not, my ex and me can through it for almost 3 years (in add, we broke up on a same day we started it. Sick, huh? MORE THAN THAT, I was dying in my first 2 month).

Although he’s not a worth guy for me to deserve, and he has less maturity than I wanted, I still love him, the way he was. I didn’t care how childish he was, all I want was him. Then finally, I got tired, I was sick, and he was so. We decided to leave each other. Surely, it didn’t mean I hate him. I can’t hate someone who has given his time to me, he’s no need to be hated. But relationship is not about love alone, we need many things beyond love itself, to build a good relationship. Love can make us tougher to face anything, and it has an integration with such several other things. That’s why I was daring to end it up, for the sake of our future. He deserves another girl as I deserve another boy. We just had spent time together to fill our heart, to acknowledge this life better, to understand how it supposed to be, and I’ve learned many things with my relationship, our relationship. Thank God I found him, without him, I can’t know these all. =)

arrogance wouldn't give us anything

2009-03-27T13:07:00.000-07:00

Crap, I’m disgusted to remember this moment, where I had to see my friend-of-friend attitude that (I think) so annoying. About a week ago, my friend introduced me to her friend, her (used to be) senior at high school but they’re now on a same profession. She had a good first impression actually, such a warm person, has well openness, and I think she’s extraverted. Last Saturday I met her for twice, and you know what? I saw her different, still warm and open, but with something inside. Proud to say she has achieved something in her job, she’s a good worker though, our republic must be proud of her as well. yes, her achievement (which she has reached with her team also) is in international scale, it’s not easy nor by quick step to get, it needs time for sure. She must be proud of herself, but unfortunately, she’s proud on a wrong way. I heard she said to my friend, “hey, you’re junior, and I’m senior. You junior have to practice more to be like me!” what? To be like, who? Her? Ew! I found an over-estimate there.

Just the way after I got home (oh, I stayed at my friend’s house, it was too late to go home *my home is far from PIM, the place where we met*, so my mum wanted me to just stay at her *friend* house to make it more safe), I told my friend about my perception. I said that she has too high self-perception. I asked whether it’s her natural attitude or not, and my friend was on a same perception with me. *objective enough, LOL*. Finally, with careful she told me everything about her. At her job, she *friend of friend* often separates junior and senior to the different level. My friend is the youngest member in that team, and ‘her senior’ is the only person who separating her, another seniors are not. Not only with her contributions, but also other things, like her way of talk, her weird English using (bad vocabs, bad grammars) even makes herself over confident. I saw it with my eyes, she often writes on my friend’s wall, and it’s weird. But still, with her over-confidence, she keeps that way. Actually, English is not our mother tongue; grammatical errors are always permitted, but please please please, just be humble if you realize you’re not a highly advanced, even though you’re the most advanced on earth., stay cool!! None will honour us if we’re arrogant. We have many goods though, all of us, and if there’s a good, there will be a bad, there’s always a positive near the negative, right? Natural being, isn’t? so I think, the most pleasant-and-easy thing we can do is being humble and low profile. We’re now still learning, learning and learning about anything, why do we have to be an arrogant?? No reason. Trustfully, arrogance wouldn’t give us anything except shit. =)

awards from several friends

2009-03-26T01:04:00.000-07:00

first, i'm so sorry for late posting, guys..

and thank you so much for these awards, mean that u're still remembering me, ahahahaha! mwah!

first and second award come from neno, thank you neno, you'll get older soon, hahahaha! *think about the birthday cake!*

the rules are :
* Put the logo in your post.
* Write 5 things you are passionate about aside from blogging.
* Tag 5 people on your lists and let them know you tagged them.

5 things I’m passionately enjoying beside blogging:

sleeping!!!! Hahahaha, but I’m serious, I haven’t got enough good-sleep for the past 3 weeks, I think I need to have it then, to recharge my energy, and not to being weak, the only way is sleeping!
Having around together with friends. Friends are amazing, aren’t they? They can impulsively change your mood; they all know how to enlighten our life.
Reading book. That’s the best way to kill my loneliness and boredom.
diagnosing patients, hahaha! Shit, I’m just contaminated with all college stuff, need to diagnose everyday makes me finally in love with diagnostic thingy. Good good good, that’s good for my GPA then..
making sets on polyvore. Another way to kill my time. But I’m now rarely as I’m busy. Hhhh!

the rules of the second award :

The Blogger manifests exemplary attitude, respecting the nuances that pervades amongst different cultures and beliefs.
The Blog contents inspire; strives to encourage and offers solutions.
There is a clear purpose at the Blog; one that fosters a better understanding on Social, Political, Economic, the Arts, Culture and Sciences and Beliefs.
The Blog is refreshing and creative.
The Blogger promotes friendship and positive thinking.

and the last award comes from Helena, Qent and Neno, muah muah thank you all!

Here are the rules of the award:
• Put the award in one post as soon as you receive it.
• Don’t forget to mention the person who gives you the award.
• Answer the award’s question by writing the reason why you love blogging.
• Tag and distribute the award to as many people as you like.
• Don’t forget to notify the award receivers and put their links in your post.

the (only) reason why i love blogging : because i can share anything here, my thoughts, my feelings, my assertiveness, anything!!! i can improve my capability of writing as well.

okay, i've finished, i'm going to tag everyone who put my link on their blog. feel free to grab them guys, these are for you!

*smooches*

BUSY

2009-03-25T12:37:00.000-07:00

I’m facing such a busy-stressful semester now, I can’t be often to update this blog and it’s bad at all. Blog writing is my hobby, and how come I can’t do my hobby? Darn. I’ve got only a year left to graduate my bachelor and seems it’s getting hard then. Nothing is easy in this world. According to the wise man, we have to pay (too) much attention to get what we want, to reach our dreams, to make our life worth living. I don’t want to sigh a lot, it won’t give me any better, but just another sigh.

I’ve chosen my minor, I chose clinical psychology, did I tell you before? That minor stereotyped as the hardest and busiest minor on entire psychological setting. I decided to choose this minor consciously, without force, spontaneity, and impulsivity, I did smart thinking, 100%! So I haven’t got any reason to be regret, and I won’t!! However, beyond everything, I’m only human who can feel depressed and sometimes overwhelmed, but hell-ooo, I’m not a baby now, I should and have to cope with all these. I don’t want to be spoiled, and I think I’m born to be strong, as what my family condition has treated me like, as my mum’s modeling, I’ll keep on silence if anything.

Ah damn, I can’t be longer here, I have to go to finish my assignment, but I’ll back soon. Tomorrow is holiday, hope I can spend at least my little time to write a post or (I hope) more.

See you guys later, and have a nice day.

And I want to say HAPPY CAKA NEW YEAR For you guys who celebrating it, may the silence bring us peace and awesomeness.. =)

homework from priska and neno (again)

2009-03-10T21:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, next tagging is from priska, and neno.

Here are the rules:
1. Make a list of ten (10) things or habits of yours that you don’t like, if you got more than ten, you can just write it all.
2. Don’t forget to write the reasons why you don’t like them.
3. Tag other ten (10) blogger friends.

on her blog, Priska said :
“by doing this we will see what kind of bad things and bad habits are the most mentioned by bloggers, and hopefully we will awake every blogger’s consciousness to be refreshed, and finally we will leave those habits behind us.” *good idea!*

And these are my 10 bad things/habits …

I don’t like vegetables. Everybody needs veggies, which have (too) many vitamins. Unfortunately, I do really hate veggies, they’re all yucky.
I’m a high-tempered and so emotional. Umm, there are 6 types of emotion: surprise, joy, sadness, fear, disgust, and anger. Especially anger and sadness, I usually express more than i suppose to do. Sometimes, I call it overreaction, LOL.
I’m addicted to smoking. Everybody knows that smoking will make your age become shorter but for now my day will be uncompleted if I don’t smoke.
if I hate someone, hard for me to be nice with her/him. Look Back to number 2, I’m a high tempered, so yeaah for me it’s a cause-effect. When I hate somebody, surely, I try not to get close to him/her, it’s the only solution, because I don’t want to hurt anybody. =)
I’m lazy to attend my lectures. Hahaha! Do I need to explain further info about this? (but I think I’m not that lazy, if there’s something important, I’ll come no matter what!!)
If I’m on a bad mood, I tend to avoid people. Look back to number 4, I don’t want to hurt anybody, and you know when we’re on a bad mood, we become unfriendly sometimes, include me. I think I’d better to be alone and stay alone at my place than I give them (people around me) some shit because my bad mood! =))))))
I consider myself careless enough with my belongings (except boyfriend, LOL). No comment. LOL. It’s too true. I can lose my things and just realize at least an hour later. Doh!
I’ll be dying if on woman’s period. Mood swing + headache + stomachache + nursea + bleeding + low back pain = DYING!!!! It’ll get worse on my first 3 days. It’s naturally given I know, but how can it be so sucks? I’ve visited the doctor and tell about it. I had a USG once, and it’s ok, no problem, it just because my hormone system that I don’t know for exact, biological thingy, hahaha!
I hate math, and I think I have dyscalculia disorder (disability to learn grade-appropriate mathematics). However, seems it’s too much for dyscalculia, isn’t it? I hate math because I’m too lazy to learn more, and more people say if we want to be able to do math, we have to practice more and more, and me don’t want, so I can’t diagnose myself as a dyscalculia patient. LOL.
I have a huge-addiction with chocolate (or some other choco-flavoured food). I can eat 5 chocolate bars per day, or triple scoops of chocolate ice cream, and never feel guilty with it, hahahaha. *how tragic!*

i'm tagging : Farah (this is my 'welcome' tag dear, i'm really glad that u've got a blog now, yaaaay!!) and everyone who interested to do this tag..

homework from Neno

2009-03-10T20:58:00.000-07:00

The next HW comes from neno.

And Here are the rules:
1. Put this award on your blog(s).
2. Put your very or the most aib (silly, shame, weird, whatever!) photo with no editing of course.
3. Give this award to people you know (at least 2).

Here is the photo.. *be ready!!!*

Why did I choose this photo : IDK, hahaha, I thought this photo was embarrassing me. I was sick when my twin brother took this photo (he has been asked by my mum to take care of me, but why he did this? haaaah!) , and look at my face, seems like I was dying there, LOL.

I think aib is : something dishonoured.. (???)

The most aib person : Sarah Azhari, Rahma Azhari, and another members of Azhari sibling. OMG. They’re so notorious, and why they looks proud being notorious? *nobody knows!*

now i'm tagging :
brigadista, evilinme, ajeng.

happy homework-ing guys, cheers.

homework from Brigadista

2009-03-07T12:21:00.000-08:00

Almost 10 days without blog-writing, makes my blog has less visitors, well at least makes me think like that =(. my college has been started, and this semester will be busier than last semester, I’m now on minor, I’ve decided to take clinical psychology as my minor, and that minor is always labeled as the busiest minor. Huff, but it’s a consequence, I know.

Okay, the next 3 posts will be a homework and/or award post. The first homework comes from brigadista.

Here are the rules:
1. Take a recent photo of yourself OR take a picture of yourself RIGHT NOW
2. DON'T change your clothes. DON'T fix your hair, just take a picture
3. Post that picture with NO editing
4. Post this instruction with your picture
5. Tag 10 people to do this.

lets see the photo, please don't laugh,, =D

This is my recent photo which taken on my birthday. That photo describes when I sliced the cake with smile, hahaha. My friends laughed over me when they looked me. They said, “What a narcissistic!”, then laughed out loud.

Brigadista also gave me award for free, here’s the award.. (cute doggy, LOL)

Now I’m tagging:
Priska,
Audrey,
Danisha,
Qent,
Ayu,
Tika,
and anyone who gets interested with this homework, lets do it!!

unstoppable praying

2009-02-26T05:52:00.000-08:00

unstoppable praying - by sarahsita hendry(bday 27th feb) on Polyvore.com

Dear God,
I don’t know how to express how blessed I am. I’ll be 21 a plenty of hours later, and it’s a mercy for me. You have been giving so many special things since I was born, and I can’t stop thanking u for all these.
As my wishes, I don’t need any material gifts, all I need is u, God. Please always stand beside me, to face this crazy life, to make myself worth as a person, to make everyone who loves me to proud of me, and to warn me that I have to always remember you.
Thank you so much for everything, makes me think that I’m the best creature on earth. you make my day, you make my life. you make me strong, with everything's happened. you want me to survive, because you know i can, even though i think i can't, but show me, and don't want me to wait too long. i give myself to you, only you.

Amen.

not too important.

2009-02-23T21:35:00.000-08:00

Hey hey, laziest person is here. Don’t ask who. I am. Yes, me.. I’m the laziest person on earth, when my birthday will be coming up, when I’m going on 21, when my exam wait me, I just do nothing that related to my lesson (study, summarize, even TOUCH THE BOOK!!!). haaaah, what kind of student am i? Student with no awareness, student who prefer to open her facebook than read her handout.
Doh, ya Allah, please forgive me for all my idiocies, i wish I could control the pressure to retard, but F, this short semester sent me craziness. Let me analyze, maybe I’m bored, is it normal to be bored on 6th semester? No? yeah I think so. Ah, whatever! Stop yawning and go open your book!!! Nooo, back off, books!

after the thrill's gone - by sarahsita hendry(bday 27th feb) on Polyvore.com

see the picture above (created by me but it's not the point!), that's a lady, laying in sofa and smoking, suddenly she falls asleep, not because she's tired, but because she's lazy. guess who!? me of course, who else?! LOL.

ugh, i have to get over it before i'm late!! come on girl, whup whup whup!!!!

homework from Neno

2009-02-20T13:42:00.000-08:00

well, so far, this is the most difficult homework i've ever done. woow, but i'm glad to finish it, i thank neno for tagging me!

Here are the rules..

To each letter of an alphabet, write a word connected to you.
Tag 6 (six) people.

ok, let's start!!

Adit is my twin brother’s nickname.

Be more mature day by day is my-forever-wish.

Chicken strips from California Fried Chicken (CFC) are my favorite junk food, and the only kind of junk food I love...

Don’t try to scream me all over my face or I’ll get your life worse.. if you’re angry to me, just tell me in a friendly way, I’ll be gentle to confess and apologize.

Economics is my high school’s subject I didn’t like.

Forrest Gump is my favorite movie, with Tom Hanks as an actor (played Gump), that film teach me (maybe you too) how to enjoy and love my life.

Greece is the country I have to visit before I die. Oh my Rab, they have a beautiful and very artistic country.

Hello kitty is the cutest cartoon’s character, I think..

I claim my self as an assertive and talk active person, but don’t worry, I always think what I want to say (polite or not, fine or not for others’ feeling) before I say it at last.

Jelly beans are my favorite candy!!!!!

Ka’bah is a black stone building in Mecca, and I turn in its direction when I’m praying.

Long is the height of my hair now generally. Hahahaha, I feel stupid when I write this! I don’t know whether this sentence is just coherent or not..

Mum and dad are not my highest-priority, but I wanna make them proud of me someday. I promise.

Nobody can judge me. Only God can. So, if anybody wants to judge me, I’ll keep walk away and don’t mind what they say to me.

Oh my God, this tag is crazy, but challenging!!!

Psychology is my major and I am not regret choosing this major until now..

Queen of the Damned is Aaliyah’s movie, which sent her a death, and that’s my favorite vampire movie beside Twilight.

Rats are yucky! (So?)

Sneakers are the shoes I usually wear if I go to campus. Very comfy, looks casual and simple.

Tobacco is one of my addictions. Bad addiction I know, and I’ll quit smoking before I kill my kids.. LOL.

Umm.. Shit!! I don’t know what I should write!!!!

Virginia Woolf is my favorite author. She was sick, psychopathic, but her novels are so damn great, maybe she use her hallucination when she writes them.

Woooooow I can’t believe I’m now closer to finish!!!!

X chromosome is the most chromosomes I have, as I am female, and female has XX or 2 X chromosomes, right? Open your biology’s book to make it sure.. =P

Yesterday, my mom went to Bali and she’s leaving me for 5 days, I wish she brings me something when she’s back. Amen. Hahaha!

Zulfa is my bestie’s name. I love her so much and I’m glad to have her as my super-best friend.

and now i'm tagging : helena, nitia, ajeng sekar, umi rina, ajeng, and gilang..
enjoy guys, hahaha, mwah!

gossiping at lunch time. LOL.

2009-02-19T01:20:00.000-08:00

This afternoon, I had lunch with my buddies, Aline and Lius, after child psychopathology’s class (and adult’s class for Aline). Lius was starving so we decided to have lunch first before we go home. Actually, my lecture wasn’t interesting me (I don’t know in Lius, but I guess he felt so), and made me sleepy. It was about mental retardation and cerebral palsy, not too exciting, they tend to be a medical problem, not psychological. I don’t want to explore them more, only on class and for the exam next week, LOL. Aline’s lesson was more interesting than ours (Lius and me), I think...

After an eating session has finished, we had a (mild) talk about a recent phenomenon, which is happening (or has just happened) around us. The dialogue’s started with talking about our friend who has umm... Like a fixation, get a stuck in a one phase of his social-life condition that influencing his thought. He seems to be never grownup, whereas he is 20s something now (older than we are). Moreover, he seems like never want to open his mind and see anything has (or to be) happened around him. As a result, he looks like a moron, ‘extraordinary’, and honestly, I have never ‘connected’ to him. I’m avoiding him. I’m not giving my (emotional) acceptance to defense myself from him. I don’t want to have conflict(s), because his pattern of behavior’s opposed to mine (and others). I prefer staying away for him even for friendship. He is more than childish you know! God!

I don’t know (and can’t imagine) how he can save his life with all of its shit(s) will happen to us (to him, I’ve nothing to him) if he stays on his current perceptual thought. Otherwise, I believe that everybody has his or her own strength(s) and way to survive. But hell, can’t he realize that everybody is talking about him, his persona, his way to think and act, and toooooo many more!!! He’s one of a loser in my faculty. It’s easy if you want to be a loser there, you should show them that you have an irrational thought, which can describe how immature you are (as your age has to be), and how bizarre your thought is, hahahah! It is not that true for real. =P

We (my friends and I) concluded that he should change his mindset or do socialization to open his mind or enrich his knowledge about this life. I don’t consider myself as the most knowledgeable person, but I think yet I’m not late to learning, and keep learning everyday, every time. Many things on earth we can use to improve our self, even things we’ve never realized before.

...
3 psychology’s students, had lunch together and they all know (and got an interest) about a weird thing, and use it as a topic of gossip, you can see how the gossip will appear. Our mind are contaminated by psycho-stuffs until we can’t dump them in our spare time. =D =D =D

social support is a kind of unconditional love..

2009-02-17T13:39:00.000-08:00

I don’t know what has driven me to write about this kind of stuff, suddenly I’ve got an interest to mention it. Well, umh, based on a dictionary of psychology, social support particularly means the physical and emotional comfort given to us by our family, friends, co-workers and others. It knows that we are part of a community of people who love and care for us, and think well of us. An important aspect of support is that a message or communicative experience does not constitute support, unless the receiver views it as such.

Most of my lectures are always ended by this (kind of) issue. Social support. Someone who has an emotional discomfort will need social support to help her/him to struggle. For example, a girl who suffering post-traumatic stress disorder after experienced a sexual-rape would be tougher to through her stressful condition if her family didn’t neglect her. How if she’s neglected? I think you know the answer.

Unfortunately, some of our populations (in our region we live) aren’t able to give any social support. They probably have given, but useless (mostly caused by their unfriendly way of talking), or they haven’t got a sense (or ability?) to understand how we feel (simpler: has a low level of awareness). I think we don’t need to be a sensitive person to know others’ feeling, we just have to care. I often read cases about mental problem that will get worse because the patient doesn’t have enough social support from people around him/her. Sad, right? The number of Mental illness’ patients increases because lack of social support too. Gaah! Hey, look! Only half patients on mental hospital have been visited by their family. I do really want to laugh after reading this fact. Me personally, always try to give some support for anybody around me, at least say to them that they’ll be ok soon.

they laugh and cry together. =)

About 2 week ago, my friend lost her momma. Her beautiful-maternal mum died from an ovarian cancer, which chronically laid in her body since … maybe 5 or 6 years ago. 3 days after her mum’s death, She (my friend) was (still) very depressed (of course she was! who wasn’t???). I often found her crying, did nothing, or did something but without enthusiasm like she does normally. My lecturer asked me what was going on with her (she found many changed behavior on my friend), she thought she’s different. Finally I told her (lecturer) about her (friend) condition. My lecturer spontaneously said that I have to give her some motivation, social support (hha!!), and always be able if she needs me. “as a friend and psychologist-to-be, we have to be sensible for this kind of problem, I think you can’t go through her and do nothing, blablabla …”, she said. “Why me? She has got 2 sisters and father, who always beside her...” I asked, not because I don’t care about my friend, but I just wanted to know the reason(s) why she said that (naughty me!). Then she continued with an answer, “Because you’re her friend, Sarah. Friends' motivations can make us emotionally attached, and they will wonderfully help us to relieve from our sadness or another kind of negative feeling.” (Then she smiled to me, and went out from class). Yeah she’s right. I have to do all those, for her.

A couple of hours later, I met her in the canteen. I looked her smoking. I joined with her, and borrowed her light (hahahahah!). I tried to open a conversation but I got stuck. *ah shshshiiit!!!* and what an unexpected, she talked! She told me how she missed her mom so much, and so on (too long to explain). I can see in her eyes (her eyes told me too, indirectly) how terrible her feeling was, deep inside my heart, i cried. I hugged her, and she cried on my shoulder. I let her crying for a moment then gave her a glass of water. After that, we kept silent. No talk, no laugh, but I stayed my body close to her. There’s no talk again until the time to go home. Her driver picked her up and I went to the plaza semanggi to meet my high school friends. When I was at plangi, I received a message from her. “Sar, thanks for your kind and support, also for your shoulder, hehe! You know something? I can’t cry since her death, I was too shocked. And finally, I cried, fiuuh! You’ve given me a place to cry and I can’t tell you how blessed I am, have a friend like you and them (her another friends).”. I replied, “You’re welcome dear, I know it’s hard, everybody knows, but life must go on. Allow yourself to cry, but don’t stop your step after this, go go go!! I know you’re strong, we are strong, everybody’s strong..”. i told my friends to support her whatever the way is, and my friends were very welcome to do that.

Day by day, she gets better *Alhamdulillah!!!!*. And now, she can draw a smile again, she can laugh as usually, her GPA went down but she thought she’ll fix it next semester. See? Social support has just perfectly worked. Conscious or unconsciously, her circumstance wanted her to struggle, and she did it! A brief story that I’ve told you before, is a sample case about how the social support works. It’s not a sin if we do some support to our relations, it will help much, trust me.. an individualism is not a reason to stop supporting others. And I think, the happiest thing we’ve ever had is when we’re realized that everybody loves us, purely. Unconditional love. Social support is a kind of unconditional love itself. =)

DOH!!!

2009-02-10T04:20:00.000-08:00

o'oww.. i think i've got a trouble. this afternoon i had a neuropsychology exam, and u know whaaaat? the type of the exam is essay, and the questions are SO FUCKING SHIT!!! i can't finish that, surely can't, oh i've tried the best on study, but what??? &$^&*$#@%!! the exam was soooo difficult, i can't catch it.

well, honestly for the last 5 days till now, i have been having a bad day, each day must be passed by any-distract-thing, distract my mood, rob my happiness and finally, the day was spent by angry, sad, even cry and yell. i have many, many negative thoughts about myself, i become to be a pessimistic (well, uh, that's my basic personality, my pessimism is greater than my optimism,, *sigh), lack of confidence, feel distressed, and so on. maybe i'm overwhelmed. =(

okay, back to the main topic, exam. yess, as i've said, those questions were burning my brain into the highest degree, i think i would get a brain dysfunction, whereas i studied about it, gagagagag, silly! how come i can't answer most of those questions???? i've studied hard, mm.. not that hard, but hard enough. neuropsychology is mixed between neurology-medical-psychology subject, i'm combining the recall and recognition method to store all chapter into my short-term memory, but gaaah, it wasn't enough, poorly. i can't recall it successfully, just a little bit, but not all of them.

maybe i can tell you few of the questions. the 1st question that i can't forget is about alzheimer's disease. i have to describe it well. The symptoms, which part brain is mostly damaged, behaviors of the patient, which memory will be lost, and many more about alzh's. another question is about umm.. non-matching-sample-test. what damage will be diagnosed if the person can perform it well? *meneketehe!!!* how can i know what the damage is, i don't even know the truly mean of non-matching-sample-test itself!! damn it! and the last recognized-question is about schizophrenia. hhhh, the hardest and most terrified illness ever! same to the other questions, brain damage is the point of this question. i know well about schizo's only on a psychological aspect(s), not on a neurological.

ok well i'm terrified now, exhausted, and i'm ready for any bad final result. oh God.. i think the matter is i'm on my pessimistic condition at the moment. i almost cried when i was reading the questions one by one. hell nooo.. ='(

homework from Ayu Susanti Aditya and Ajeng

2009-02-07T10:41:00.000-08:00

well, i've been tagged by my new blog's friend, ayu susanti aditya and ajeng to write down my 100 truths. what? 100? *sigh. okay, here i go!

001. Real name → Sitti Hendrianti Sarahsita
002. Like it? → too like it!
003. Nickname(s)→ Sarah, Sarsit.
004. Status → single
005. Zodiac sign → pisces
006. Male or female → *what do u think??* female of course, can't u see it??? LOL.
007. Elementary→ Al-Azhar 01 islamic Elementary school.
008. Middle School → Al-Azhar 01 Islamic junior high school.
009. High School → 3 High School Jakarta.
010. Hair color → dark brown.
011. Long or short → Long.
012. Eye color → brown.
013. Weight → 48 kgs, but it's unstable, sometimes more, sometimes less.
014. Height → 160 cms
015. Righty or lefty → righty
016. Loud or Quiet → Both, depends on the situation and condition.
017. Sweats or Jeans → jeans.
018. Phone or Camera → phone.
019. Health freak → mm.. not really.
020. Piercings?→ yes, 7 in ear lobes (3 in left ear lobe, 4 in right)
021. Do you have a crush on someone? → at the moment, no.
022. Eat or Drink → drink.
023. Purse or Backpack → at campus : backpack, at mall : purse.
024. Tattoos → no.
025. Do You Like Yourself? → of course, i can't be like this if i dislike myself.
026. Current worry? → I’m worrying about my neuropsychology's final score.

THIS OR THAT:
027. Orange or Apple Juice? → orang juice.
028. Night or Day? → night. near to sleep. LOL.
029. Sun or Moon? → moon.
030. TV or Internet? → Both.
031. PlayStation or XBox? → Xbox, aaaarrgh!
032. Kiss or Hug? → hug. but kiss is still good. hahaha!
033. Iguana or Turtle? → turtle, i'm afraid of iguana, hihi..
034. Spider or Bee? → i'm an insectophobia, so i wouldn't choose any of them.
035. Fall or Spring? → spring
036. Limewire or iTunes? → iTunes!!!!
037. Soccer or Baseball? → baseball, woohooo i'm a homer!!

FIRSTS:
038. First surgery → i had never had a surgery.
039. First piercing → when i was at ... 4th grade.
040. First best friend → her name is Anita, my friend (used to my neighbour) since i was 4 y.o till now.
041. First Sport? → ??? running? swimming? can i say those?
042. First award → english olympic when junior high.
043. First crush → my friend in elementary school. *sorry i can't tell his name*
044. First pet → an unnamed rabbit.
045. First big vacation → i had a tour around U.S with my family.
046. First big birthday → my sweet 17^th birthday party.

CURRENTLY:
047. Eating → spaghetti carbonara. *yum yuum*
048. Drinking → coke.
049. I’m about to → study neuropsychology for the exam next tuesday.
050. Listening to → nothing.
051. Singing? → nope.
052. Typing? → this post.
053. Waiting for → the sleepy-eyed to come.

YOUR FUTURE:
054. Want kids? → totally!
055. When? → i'll tell you if i've got 1! hahaha!
056. Want to get married? → i hope yea, but i'm not thinking about it now, too far.
057. When? → hey, mind your own business! HAHAHA! *the dog is barking!*
058. Where Do You Want To Live? → in the earth of course, can u imagine if i live in mars? i wouldn't survive!
059. Careers in mind → a psychologist, kindegarten teacher, uum, a housewife? hahaha!
060. What Did You Want To Be When You Were Little? → doctor. hahahaha, ordinary one, huh?
061. Mellow Future Or Wild? → WILD, hahaha! *i don't mind what people say, they don't know anything*
062. Something You Would Never Try? → jump from 20th floor, drink an insecticide.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/ BOY?
063. Lips or eyes → eyes.
064. Shorter or taller? → taller.
065. Romantic or spontaneous → romantic.
066. Nice stomach or nice arms → nice stomach.
067. Sensitive or loud → boys can't be that sensitive, but please don't that loud, hahaha!
068. Hook-up or relationship → relationship.
069. Trouble maker or hesitant → troublemaker. oh don't be a hesitant in front of me!
070. Hugging or Kissing? → both.
071. Tan Skinned or Light? → tan skinned.
072. Dark or Light Hair? → whatever!
073. Muscular or Normal? → normal, but muscular is okay, as long as not like aderai. *oh geeez!*

HAVE YOU EVER:
074. Lost glasses/contacts → yea, at the beach.
075. Ran away from home → no.
076. Held a gun/knife for self defense?→ no.
077. Killed somebody → hahahaha.. funny!
078. Broken someone’s heart → i've tried not to..
079. Been arrested → no.
080. Cried when someone died → of course.
081. Kissed A Stranger? → hahahaha, i'm not that bitch.
082. Climbed Up A Tree? → when I was 7, or 8 maybe.
083. Liked A Friend As More Than A Friend? → no, i'm a consistent (maybe almost strict) person. friends are friends, i treat them like my friends.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
084. Yourself → hahahahaa.. stupid.
085. Miracles → yes.
086. Love at first sight → maybe yea..
087. Heaven → yes.
088. Santa Claus → no
089. Kiss on the first date → yes.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
090. Is there one person you want to be with right now → yes. nadia.
091. Do You Like Someone? → no, at the moment.
092. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → yes.
093. Do you believe in God → OMG u're fucking killing me, yo stupid question!! of course i do!!! baahh!

LASTS
094. Received/ Sent Text Message → from nadia, to nadia.
095. Received Call → umm, from my dad.
096. Call Made? → to nadia.
097. Comment On MySpace? → I haven't got any account on myspace.
098. Missed Call? → from my dad. he sought me.
099. Person You Hung out With? → nadia, ajeng.

100. post this and tag to friends. i'm tagging : cellini, karin, and evilinme

happy writing guys!!

25 randomnesses

2009-02-02T09:23:00.000-08:00

(again, copied from facebook's note)

oh my, hahaha, i've been tagged by 5 people to re-write this note.. they are : Sarah, Audrey, Faslin, Ninit, and Neno (Thanks Girls, mmuah!).. now i have no reason not to write them down.

Rules:
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

those 25 randoms are :

1. I have a light skin and i'm proud of it.

2. I'm addicted to books (read and buy them for collection) a lot.

3. I love my twin brother so much although we always have a fight while in a bad mood.

4. I like hugging and be hugged.. (weird, huh? no? oh thanks!)

5. I want to go far away from home, as soon as possible.

6. I'm fragile, easy to cry, easier than to yell/curse for express my anger/sadness.

7. I'm a perfectionist, almost compulsive, and always do anything perfectly, or i'll get anxious then.

8. I don't like horror movies, whoever the ghost is, except edward cullen, or brad pitt maybe..because i'm sure that he'll be still handsome even when he acts on a horror movie.

9. I'm not really confident with my english.. =(

10. I don't think marriage is important to someone's life, it's all up to her/him whether she/he wants to get married or not.

11. I'd better not to give any critics if those critics will give disappointment to others.

12. I don't really depend on my friends but i love my friends as i love myself.

13. I love children and i hope they can be loved, enjoy their childhood, and have many choices in their life. i'll fight for that someday.

14. I want to adopt a cat (just one!!) but my mom didn't allow me. *please bunda, let me have a pet!*

15. I can eat 5 bars of chocolate per day, and won't feel guilty with it. LOL.

16. I don't really mean about the taboos. nothing's taboo in my perspective.

17. I hate copycat. AT ALL. plagiarism isn't a brilliant idea. someone who do copy is just a jerk, and they'd better to end their dream to be an artist, a scientist, or something else. there are many inspirations in this world, so why do we have to copy?

18. I want to be more mature.. ='(

19. I love sleeping. (who doesn't?)

20. I like high heels, but don't too high, just 5-10 cms.

21. I have a goal to be a clinical psychologist, either child or adult psy.

22. I love playing polyvore a lot (http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/profile?id=477684), that website can distract my attention even while i'm doing my assignment.

23. I adore kurt cobain (nirvana band's vocalist). he's handsome, talented, he had his own character, but poorly he didn’t have a long life. (may you rest in peace, dear cobain!)

24. I wish I can play harp, and have my own harp, but hell, harp is such an expensive instrument ever.

25. Honestly, i'm tired with my life already (i have been living in a family with many conflicts since I was born, btw), but suicide is big NO NO for me. i just have to relieve and cope my stress(es).

Awards from Helena

2009-01-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

i'd like to thank Helena for these awards. man, she gave me 2, wooow!! (thank you my dear!)

the rules:
first: put this logo on your blog.
second: answer these questions below :

1. what is your main reason to make a blog?
2. whose blog that visit first after you make your own blog?
3. tag 5 people you visit often!

i'm answering :
1. i've no specific reason to make a blog, just an impulsive thought, as usual, LOL. i love writing and wondered why i don't make a blog, that would help to train my skill (nobody will know his/her ability to do something if she/he doesn't (want to) explore it more) and entertain myself with that kind of hobby (writing). so my main reason must be : an impulsive thought drives me to have a blog and i've stimulated by the pressure.

2. oh shit i've forgotten, swear i can't remember whose blog i visited first after i made it.

3. i'm tagging : Febri, danisha, Diana ang, Audrey, and Priska, because i wanna know their answers. =)

and the second award is :

*bilingual mode : on* LOL.

the rules:
first: pajang award ini d blog anda
second: beri judul the uniqe award d postingan
third: jawab pertanyaan berikut ini

1. benda unik apa yg lo punya ?

2. apakah elo mengoleksi benda benda unik ? kalo iya apa saja ?
3. apa penyebab elo bisa membuat dan mempunyai blog unik seperti ini?

my answers' :
1. mm, let me remember, i think i don't have any unique materials, yeah sure, i don't have!!!

2. as what i've said, i don't have any, but yes for collection, i have some books from an author named Virginia Woolf. very unusual for us, because just a few people know her. she was suffering a psychotic disorder, i have diagnosed her for my 5th semester's assignment, and in my diagnosis, she had schizophrenia disorder, it has completed with hallucination (which is the main symptom of schizos). people with hallucination always have an extraordinary fantasy/imagination to their world, and her books are written with all of her hallucination, and what an unbelieveable, those are amazing-hallucinated-books, oh wow! that's why i claimed these as my unique things i've collected.

my woolf's books. i only have 3, she has written maybe 5 or 6,
but they're not published in Indonesia,
or i don't know if i miss them, i've hunted them, from gramedia,
ak'sa'ra, kinokuniya, QB, tapi ga ada, dodol!!

3. ???? unik? dr mana uniknya yah? i don't think i have a unique blog, i think my blog is such a diary for me.. =)

urusan tagging, siapa ya? same with above aja laah!! happy writing, mmuah! LOL.

cause i'm dying

2009-01-26T04:36:00.000-08:00

You don’t know me, mum. You don’t know how hard for me to survive in this (f***ing) condition. All that I need is YOU, but you don’t even know if I need you. Well yeah, let me grow up WITH MY OWN WAY, Don’t worry because I’LL SHOW YOU. I’m sick of it, mum, my eyes are just about bleeding, isn't that enough?? DARN.

even an angel can be tired.. - by sarahsita hendry on Polyvore.com

a bedtime story which telling about SPIDER

2009-01-23T08:38:00.000-08:00

(this note has already posted on my facebook)

I titled like that because I’m all out of clever things to say something good about spider. I bet, this will be the most horrible bedtime story u’ve ever read. First of all, I wanna give you the definition of a spider itself. Spider is an insect, a predatory arachnid with eight legs (OMG, it hasn’t got any hand, so how can I grab its hand by the way?? LOL), two poison fangs, two feelers, and usually two silk-spinning organs at the back end of the body; they spin silk to make cocoons for eggs or traps for prey. Spider always make a fast movement, from one place to the other place, and we’ll find it hard to catch it. Very untouchable. Edward Cullen said that a fast movement he always do is like a spider. And if u have seen twilight movie, you must know when he tells that lines.

Unfortunately, I was in love with a spider. Not a real spider, but ‘spider’. Spider that I mean is someone from a cursed place, who always laying in my mind, my heart even my unconsciousness. I had a very unforgettable first date (a date, not only a meeting). i went to the cinema with him, took the midnight show, after that, he dropped me to my house. He told me that I needn’t to tell anybody about that night, “just me and you, can you keep it?”, he asked. Yeah of course I can, why not? Day by day, week by week, our no-status-relationship was going beautifully. But one day, he asked me a confusing question again, “is this wrong?”, then I asked him back, “what ‘this’? whats wrong?”.
“this!!! Our relationship. We have no status, la la la …” Then I was realized that oh gosh, I’ll face some troubles soon, I had a bad feeling. Thank God, it didn’t take a long time, It's just blocked.
But my dilemmatic situation hasn’t finished yet. About 3 weeks or a month later, I saw there are so many differences in his behavior, if compare with his behavior 3 or 4 weeks before. He seems like, umm.. lack of passion, have a bore, or something like that, marked by his tendency not to reply my sms, answer my phone call, and so on.

stupid feeling - by sarahsita hendry on Polyvore.com

I wondered, “what happened with u, hun? And why u didn’t tell me anything? U’re blinding me, u know, and it ain’t funny!!” he told that he was like that even before I met him. No, he’s not like that. I feel such a different thing. I guess, he can’t manage his many negative feelings for our relationship. He’s too egoish to make a good deal with me, he’d rather to treat me like that, he doesn’t know how it feels like, being rejected and neglected, rrggghhh.. what the F!!! its going on for about 3 weeks till we (HE!!) decided to ending our relationship (pretend that we really have a status).

i'm trying not to jump - by sarahsita hendry on Polyvore.com

Maybe that time is where I had to be in a lowest-level phase on my life-span. this experience is teaching me how we should appreciate the love. each person has some different ways to express the love, and however the form of their expression, all we need to know is : love is a very special gift from God. u may be blessed if u have the love in your heart. the power, and the purity of love, can beat anything in the universe. so please save and care about your partner's (either couple, friend, sibling, parent) feeling, don't give them a sadness, an emptiness, or sorrow because they think they love a wrong person. love is never wrong, actually, the point is how we keep our love n grow it correctly. why did i ask u to do that? because i know how hard when i get an ignorance from THAT SPIDER. i don't know maybe he's jobless or what, he's just a kind of shit that i have to throw it away. fucking SPIDER!!!
(any question guys?)

P.S : i just wanna share, its okay if u have different opinion.. =)

homework from nitia.

2009-01-22T03:13:00.000-08:00

euugghh, such a bad day today.. i had a neuropsychology's class and it was sooo boring. the lesson today is about vigilance and disorders. vigilance is the condition when u're ready to do some reactions of a stimulus, comes from your brain, neuron, and blahblahblah.. ASS!!

but my mood was successfully swinging after i read a message from my dear friend, nitia. she wanted me to do a homework, in which u have to describe how messy your desk is, hahaha, no no, just describe about ur desk. ur desk? yeah, my desk. weird, huh? weird can be so much fun, anyway..
talking about my desk(s), actually i never study on my desk, i choose to study on bed, or just sit on the floor, or no study at all, but those fucking college are pushing me to always study everyday, every night, every midnight, every week, every month, every breath i take, gaahh, its too much.
now here are the pics, i'll show you one by one(of course!), start from my favourite desk..

this is my small desk next to my bed. its very special for me because i can put anything i want , like my mobile(s), cigs, tissue, sugar-free candies, my tiny ashtray (its very small, swear!!), also my glasses while i sleep. the desk isn't big, but not really small, enough for everything that i always put onto.. okay, lets move to my another desk..

ahaa.. i don't think it's a 'real' desk.. i think this is the toilette desk. the (toilette) desk is where i use to putting all my perfumes. i like to collect perfumes, i have many scents of perfume, but my favourite is perfumes by moschino. i put my loose powder as well, body lotion, and so on and so oooon, LOL. next!

i'm giving you 2 angles of my i-don't-know-how-to-order-it desk. i hope u're just realized why i don't like to study on my desk, yessss, because there are too many books. each book consists of +/- 700 pages, those are written in english , one of them is a diagnostic book that always use for giving the diagnosis for someone who suffers any mental illness(es). if you use it to beat someone, i can predict he/she will get a bruise then, hahaha! beside the books, i put my binder too, my pens/pencils, stick notes, tape, small note books, organizer, and many other..
in addition :

this is my small part of my bed, where i always spend my time while i'm at my bedroom. use my lappy, either for browsing or doing my work-paper(s), reading magazine/newspaper, watching tv, listening my mom's screaming (sick!!!), and maaany other kind of activities. i love this spot.. (do i need to explain further info?)

and the last, the desk for tv and dvds.. its messy because i haven't got enough time to order it. i have many dvds as i like to watch them. movies are my entertainment, beside polyvore and books.. i can learn many things from them (books n movies), so they aren't only entertaining, but also knowledgeable.. =)

Done!!! fiuuh.. well, nitia wrote that i have to tag other friends, i want to tag, umm ..

neno
arkasha
shy

ok guys, lets analyse your desk, hahaha!

i'll miss u, my sist!

2009-01-21T12:51:00.000-08:00

woaa, hari ini, temen gw, senior gw, dan udah gw anggep kayak kakak gw sendiri, ka fergie, bakalan pergi ke philippines to have a leg surgery. gw baru taunya TADI SIANG, itu juga karena gw buka facebook dan disitu statusnya bilang kalo dia bakal meninggalkan jakarta. KAGET ABIIS gw. gw emang udah skitar 1 mingguan ga kontak ama dia, skalinya kontak juga cuma ngebahas masalah sehari2 kayak nanya kabar, gimana ujiannya (kan dia lg ujian tuh), and ga pernah nanya tentang kapan dia mau dioperasi. baru deh tadi, gw secara ga sengaja dikasihtau tentang keberangkatannya dia. setelah gw baca status update nya, gw langsung sms dia. unfortunately, dia ga bales sms gw, mungkin dia lg sibuk, pikir gw, dan gw yg pas itu mau masuk ke kelas neuropsikologi, mutusin buat re-send message abis kelas slesai aja, karena mungkin aja di tengah2 jalannya kuliah, dia bales sms gw, tapi ternyata tidak..

pas kelas udah selesai, ga ada juga balesan sms dari dia. mulai deh gw mikir, "ini ka egie kmana ya?", akhirnya terdoronglah gw untuk nelfon dia. telfon gw DIANGKAT!! fiuuh lega. gw masih sempet ngomong ama dia walaupun cuma bentar. i gave her some motivationa and wishes, and kaget banget gw pas dia bilang ternyata dia berangkat jam 1 dinihari, OMG!! gw pun nutup telfon dengan perasaan lega, at least gw bisa nunjukkin atensi gw ke dia, and ga peduli mau dia nganggep itu angin lewat doang or anything, gw ga peduli itu.

mungkin lo pada bertanya-tanya, kenapa sih gw ngebahas dia di postingan gw kali ini? sebenrnya gw ngangkat dia karena gw ga punya topik lain smentara gw pengen banget ngupdate blog gw, hahahaha, ga juga laaah! deep down inside, gw pengen banget ngeluarin kecemasan gw (yang sebenernya masih dalam batas normal) tapi gw gatau gimana cara negluarinnya, jadi yaudah, dengan gw menulis artikel buat dia, mudah-mudahan semua bisa menjadi lebih baik (perasaan gw).

ini ka egie, waah potonya gw ambil colongan dari facebooknya,
abis gw ga punya fotonya, hahaha!

perkenalan gw dengan ka egie itu simple banget. jadi waktu itu gw butuh subjek buat wawancara mengenai olahraga dan kaitannya dengan tingkat stress. gw disuruh wawancara 3 narasumber, sementara gw cuma punya 2, akhirnya gw pilihlah ka egie, senior gw waktu di SMA, untuk menjadi subjek gw. gw kirim message, ask her whether she agree to be my participant or not, ternyata dia mau!!! goood, gw ngerasa lega banget, karena dia bersedia jd my last participant. udah tuh, gw jadi sering kontak ama dia, untuk membangun sebuah kontak emosional biar dia bisa nyaman sama gw. fortunately, dia bukan tipe orang yg 'kaku', walaupun ga bisa digolongin orang yg 'hangat' juga (yaiya, secara gw kan baru kenal, pas SMA jg ga pernah ngobrol), tapi cukup bersahabat dan welcome lah sama gw. gw jd sering cerita2, dia juga ternyata mau cerita sm gw, ampe wawancara berlangsung, kita kayak yg udah lama kenal gitu. padahal pas wawancara itu pertemuan pertama.

ka fergie, Fergie rachel kawengian, biasa gw panggil ka egie, kena cidera di lututnya (gw lupa yang sebelah mana), katanya sih pas PON tahun lalu. dia atlit cabang olahraga basket, dan membawa kota Jakarta pas PON tahun kemarin itu. sehari-harinya, dia kuliah di Perbanas, jurusan manajemen, angkatan 2005, setahun di atas gw. dia juga member dari club Mahaputri Britama. kalo lo tau perkembangan basket indonesia, lo pasti udah ngga asing sama tim ini, and lo juga pasti tau kalo tim Mahaputri ini udah memenangkan piala KOBANITA sebanyak 7 kali berturut-turut.
ka egie, tinggal di jakarta sendirian. ada sih sodara-sodaranya, tapi orangtuanya tinggal di manado, dan dia anak tunggal. dulu, dia tinggal sama tantenya, tapi karena dikontrak sama tim nya, dia jadi pindah ke mess tim nya di daerah kelapa gading sana. dia itu tipe cewek keras, galak (punya temper yg tinggi), koleris-melankolis gitu. di super-mandiri, hidup di jakarta sendiri bukan hal yang gampang. terlepas dari urusan ekonomi (karena gw yakin dia pasti dapet subsidi dr ortunya), dia harus berjuang sendiri ngelewatin tahap demi tahap perkembangannya. di saat dia kedinginan, cuma selimut yang bisa menghangatkan badannya, dan di saat dia gundah, cuma kata hati dan otaknya yang bisa menjawab kegundahannya, beruntung dia deket sama Tuhan, which is dia bisa sharing dan ngerasa 'ada yg nemenin'. dia juga punya temen-temen yang sayang dan perhatian sama dia.

ka egie in action..

perlu diketahui sebelumnya, gw adalah orang yang sangat menyayangi temen-temen gw. gw punya kepekaan yang tinggi terhadap mereka, kalo mereka kenapa2, gw bisa loh cemas sendiri gitu, tingkat kecemasan gw emang bisa dibilang tinggi, jadi no wonder kalo gw cemas mikirin dia yang lg deg-degan menghadapi saat2 operasi.

well, hati emang ga pernah bohong. cinta emang selalu berjalan sesuai perintah otak dan stimulus dari orang yang kita cintai. teman-teman kita, adalah salah satu bagian terbaik dari diri kita sendiri. companionate love (cinta pada sahabat), make our life worth living. hubungan gw ama ka egie, bukan hubungan yang spesial kalo dilihat dari kuantitasnya. gw jalan bareng ama dia cuma 3 kali jooo, pertama yang wawancara, trus ke mangdu bareng, trus terakhir gw nonton bareng ama dia and 2 temennya. tapi kalo dari segi kualitas, gw ngerasa gw dapet kualitas yang oke dari dia, gw ga tau juga sih dia nganggep gw gimana, but once again, gw ga peduli, gw udah memberikan yang terbaik, menggunakan kesempatan (langka) yang ada, n itu balik lagi ke dia nya. yang jelas, dia udah dapet ruang sendiri, bergabung dengan sahabat-sahabat gw lainnya, yang ampe kapanpun ga pernah brubah statusnya menjadi 'musuh'. kebencian emang bisa merubah sebuah hubungan, tapi hati, ga pernah bisa kalah dari benci, benci adalah sebuah emosi negatif yang bisa dihapus oleh cinta yang ikhlas. cinta apapun. dan gw adalah orang yang sangat menghargai cinta, dari mulai ama orangtua, sahabat, ampe binatang piaraan. gw bisa bertahan ampe sekarang juga karena cinta, guys! sooo, spread the love in everywhere!!!

persahabatan, membuat kita merasa selalu dicintai,
membuat hidup kita menjadi lebih penuh arti. (quote yang pasti udah sering banget lo denger bahkan nyaris basi, tapi BENER BANGET!)

for my dear ka egie :
aku salut banget ama keberanian n kemandirian kakak. aku ga akan pernah berusaha untuk meng'kopi', karena aku punya cara sendiri untuk juga bisa bertahan seperti kakak, tapi sumpah, kakak udah jadi 'role model' aku, untuk menjadi cewek kuat dan mandiri, tetapi tetap hangat seperti ka egie yang aku kenal sekarang.
glad to know that u'll get well soon, but sad to let u go even for a month, hahaha, lebay! well ka, just takecare there ya, dont forget to pray for the best therapeuthic, have a safe surgical proccess, n so on.. i'm praying for u here as well,, warm hugs for u kaa, and mmmuaahh!!
*can't wait to see n hear that u're back, next month*
God bless u fully.. (maaf ya ka, fotonya aku pinjem, hihi!)

teman-teman, tolong doain ka egie yaaa, biar dia bisa cepet sembuh, i need your pray guys, for her! thanks a lot!!!

I dreamed I could fly out in the blue

2009-01-15T06:33:00.001-08:00

kira2 belakangan ini, gw lg ngerasa down bgt, ga tau mungkin krn kecapean aja, mgnk jg krn kesepian, yg emang wajar bgt dialamin ama stiap manusia, bahkan yg pacarnya lebih dr 1 jg bs ngerasain hal itu. saat gw ga ada kerjaan, gw iseng bikin set di polyvore, diinspirasiin dr lagunya roxette yg wish i could fly. gw jd sukkaaa bgt ama lagu itu. gw emang mikir, kynya enak ya klo bisa terbang, gw bs nge-refresh otak gw dgn kemampuan terbang gw, but its riddiculous, it just a dream, that only a miracle can make it come true..

I dreamed I could fly out in the blue by sarahsita hendry(is sad)

Wish I Could Fly - Roxette

Halfway through the night
I wake up in a dream
Echoes in my head
Make every whisper turn into a scream

I dreamed I could fly
Out in the blue
Over this town
Following you
Over the trees
Subways and cars
I'd try to find out
Who you really are

In the middle of the night
Cool sweatin' in my bed
Got the windows open wide
Thinkin' about all the things you said

I wish I could fly
Out in the blue
Over this town
Following you
I'd fly over rooftops
The great boulevards
To try to find out
Who you really are
Who you really are

I wish I could fly now
I wish I could fly now
I wish I could fly now

I wish I could fly
Around and around
Over this town
The dirt on the ground
I'd follow your course
Of doors left ajar

To try to find out
Who you really are
Who you really are

Fly, fly, fly
I wish I could fly

I wake up in a dream
(in the middle of the night)
I wish I could fly...
(in the middle of the night)
I wish I could fly

sabar aja..

2009-01-07T10:59:00.000-08:00

gw sedih, barusan temen gw ngasihtau kalo dia kabur dari rumah. dia ga mau ngasihtau dia ada dimana skrng, dia cuma meyakinkan gw kalo dia baik2 aja.. dia kabur karena tekanan dari rumah yg udah ga bisa dia bendung lagi. gw tau itu memang haknya dia untuk kabur atau melakukan hal lain yg dia suka, dan bukan urusan gw untuk ngelarang ini itu ama dia, tapi, gw sangat menyayangkan keputusannya yang kebetulan ga sejalan ama pemikiran gw.. menurut gw, dia harusnya sabar aja, ntar juga ada waktunya. urusin aja yg lain dulu, ga usah ngurusin sesuatu yg pada akhirnya akan terjadi dengan sendirinya, jabur dari rumah.. hey man, ntar kita akan keluar dari rumah sialan ini. gw pun ngerasa ga nyaman dengan rumah gw, sama ky dia. tapi gw berusaha untuk bertahan, dan gw yakin dia sbnernya bisa, kalo aja dia ngasih dirinya kesempatan untuk tetep stay di rumah itu, sayangnya dia lebih milih kabur..

buat temen gw (si yg kabur itu), dan buat kamu semua yg juga sedang merasakan hal ini :
gw pengen banget keluar dari rumah. gw pengen memulai semuanya dari nol. gw pengen mebuktikan pada SEMUAnya, kalo gw bisa.
ya krn gw emang bisa, ga ada yg ga bisa di dunia ini, kita pasti bisa ngelakuin apaaaaa aja yg kita mau, ga ada batasan, dunia ini ga berbatas kok.
tapi yg hrus kita capai adalah, keluar lah dengan kepala tegak. buktiin sama mereka (those who pushing you) kalo kita bisa bertahan dengan segala macem kondisi yg memang sudah diberikan dari sananya. jangan pernah terlihat lemah, walaupun kenyataannya kita ga lebih dari seorang manusia lemah yg butuh pertolongan. cuma kita yg bisa menolong diri kita sendiri, nobody can!! kebahagaiaan yg sebenarnya adalah bagaimana kamu membahagiakan dirimu sendiri, ga bergantung pada sebuah keadaan tertentu.. bahagia itu diciptakan, bukan didapat.
kita penciptanya, dengan izin Tuhan, kita dapat menikmati apa saja yang ada di depan kita sesuai kadarnya, tidak berlebihan..
berdiri diatas kaki lo sendiri, jangan mengikuti orang lain kalo lo ga nyaman, turuti kata hati lo. kata hati lo yang paling berhak didengerin, bukan kata hati orang lain..
ga ada yang mencintai diri lo sebesar elo mencintai diri lo sendiri, dan kalo ada seseorang yang menginginkan sebuah kebahagiaan buat lo, orang itu adalah diri lo sendiri..

keep smiling my friend, i love u whatever u are, no matter what happened next, i'm here for u! *pulang kek lo njing!! hahaha!

just wanna express my anger..

2009-01-07T07:37:00.000-08:00

now i'm gonna express my anger, if u're not agreed, don't sense it, stop read and shut up!! (slesai kan masalah???)

ntah knapa, ada ujian apa, beberapa hari ini gw sering nemuin org2 dengan tabiat MENYEBALKAN di mata gw (terserah di mata lo mau dianggep apa org2 itu). orang2 ini menganggap diri mereka paling penting, paling hebat, nyaris tanpa dosa. mungkin mereka ga punya kaca kali di rumah. well, let me explain how they act..

first one i met, orang sok suci. hahaha, muak bgt ga sih lo ama org yg ky gini.. dia sering bgt private message ke gw dengan kalimat bijak, agamis (gw gatau jg sih agamanya dia apa), berasa gw bakal denger bijakan nya dia gitu.. trus tiba2 ada yg ngeadd gw di facebook, ga tau dia ini siapa. gw sih bukan org yg nge-ignore org (bukan krn gw ga bisa, tp krn gw pikir yaudah lah, it just facebook!!), jadi gw approve aja dia. gw ga punya estimasi apa2 ttg org ini krn gw ga kenal jg ama ni orang. ternyataaa, pas gw lg online n dia online jg, dia ngirim gw online message di facebook, menginform kalo itu dia, dan tu org adalah org yg dr bbrapa bulan yg lalu gw anggep sbg org yg ga penting, si org sok suci ituu. ah parah!! kaget gw, njing!! umm, berhubung gw idup di dunia timur, agak ga etis juga klo gw mengumbarkan identitas dia, walaupun dengan maksud assert, gw yakin klo dia baca blog ini dia pasti bakal nuntut gw (ga ada wkt buat ngeladenin tuntutan dia). dan tau ga loooo, dia NGAJAK GW KENALAN. hahahaha! kira2 online message nya dia ky gini :

dia : "hi, aku ..... (dia nyebut namanya), pembaca blog kamu, inget ga?"
gw : "ooh, inget2.." (masih mikir, tp ga lama gw super kaget. OMG , itu diaa? si sok alim itu?)
dia : "boleh kenalan ga? kmu tinggal dimana? ada YM?"
gw : (mindahin status online jd offline..)

heeh what the fuck?? belom apa2 udah nanyain YM? (gw kasi YM nya bokap gw baru tau rasa lo!) gimana ya, gw bukan org yg NYARI JODOH VIA DUNIA MAYA. bukannya mau pamer, udah sering sih org ngajak gw kenalan yg ga jelas gitu, dan ga bisa disalain juga, suka2 mereka dong mau nyari jodoh lewat mana, suka2 gw jg kalo gw ga mau nerima jodoh lewat internet, but hell-oooo, org yg ngajak gw kenalan adalah dia yg selalu berbijak2, terkesan dia adalah org yg kalem abis n ga mungkin tebar pesona, eeeh ternyataa.. malah lebih parahnya lagi, temen gw (ga terlalu kenal jg sih) pernah dikritik ama dia (si org dodol ini). jd temen gw tu bikin post apaaa gitu, lupalah gw, trus dikritik ama dia, gw jg lupa apa kritikannya, krn gw cm tau dr crita si temen gw ini, bukan langsung gw baca di blognya dia. what a fake!! damn shit! mulutmu harimau mu anak muda (dia lebih muda dr gw dong jooo!!), now i know what ur bad is.. so bad, poor you, i give my big sympathy to you, young man.. (you should buy a mirror, hahaha!)

the second one is, ya sama aja sih sok suci jg, tapi klo dia mungkin sok bijak kali ya? (apa bedanya sih?) jd ceritanya, ada temen gw yg kesel bgt ama salah satu dosen, dia mencak2 tuh, marah2, waaah heboh bgt deh pokonya, tu seisi kelas udah pada ikutan heboh jg gara2 dia (padahal di dalem kelasnya cuma ada 4 org aja, tp rasanya udah ky ada 10 org gitu), berhubung gw ga tau apa2, maksudnya gw cuma tau bahwa temen gw sedang tersulut emosinya gara2 si dosen yg pelit nilai itu, jd gw memutuskan utk diem aja.. finally, gw jd ikutan berkomen karena ternyata cerita temen gw ttg si dosen gw ini membangkitkan kemarahan gw. gw nyeletuk aja, "ah biarin aja, suruh makan tai aja tu dosen2 pelit nilai itu!", semua pada ketawa denger ocehan bego gw.. tak disangka2, orang yg ga diundang tiba2 nyamperin kita (dia udah ada di kelas itu sbenernya, tapi dia sibuk dengan laptopnya, dan dia jg bukan bagian dr gw n temen2 gw, gw bahkan ga kenal ama dia walaupun sekelas, stau gw sih dia angkatan atas) trus ngomong, "tolong dong kata2nya diperatiin, kesopanan tetep dijaga ya!", katanya..
eh buseeeet!! smua orang juga tau kaliii kalo kesopanan harus dijaga. lagian siapa disini yg ga sopan coba? gw n temen2 gw, atau dia yg tiba2 ngintervensi padahal ga tau apa2? kalo mau intervensi mbok ya tanya2 dulu dong, kondisinya kayak apa, jgn main ngehakimin orang aja.. gw jg bakal ngamuk kalo temen gw marah2nya di depan org banyak, kyk ga berpendidikan aja. gausah diajarin, mas!! anak psikologi apa bukan sih dia?? orang yg namanya lagi marah ya terang aja bisa seenak jidat ngomongnya.. lagian dengan makian gw n temen2 gw juga gw ga bakal ngeganggu idupnya dia. asal lo tau ya nyet, di luar sana masih banyak anak2 yg ngomongnya lebih kurang ajar, bahkan mereka ngomong secara lepas bebasnya di depan khalayak umum, trus ini yg cuma di kelas doang, harus diributin gitu?? *mungkin dia ga ada kerjaan n mau cari perhatian*

ok buat teman2ku sayang, don't judge a book by its cover, dia yg suka ngumbar kata2 penuh kesucian, belom tentu juga dalem nya suci. manusia ga ada yg sempurna, dude.. tapi manusia yg baik adalah dia yg selalu berusaha sekuat tenaganya untuk membuat semua pekerjaanya mendekati titik kesempurnaan, bukan manusia yg maunya dinilai sempurna oleh manusia lainnya, dengan kerap show off akan sesuatu yg dia sendiri tau bahwa dia ga mungkin mencapai itu..
and for u guys who being (was, been) judged, tenang aja men, ga ada yg suci di dunia ini. kalo ada orang2 yg menuding lo aneh2, sesungguhnya dia BUTA akan hati lo, krn klo dia tau, gw yakin ga akan ada tudingan keluar dr mulut dia. memahami perasaan orang memang tidak semudah itu, tapi dengan elo diem dan ga berkomentar apa2, itu adalah sebuah bentuk pemahaman yg lo kasih ke org itu.. jadi tolong, hargai hak gerak orang lain, sebagaimana Tuhan menghargai hak gerakmu, untuk menjadi apa yg kamu inginkan buat duniamu.. =)

najong, libur nya segini doang!!

2009-01-04T01:32:00.000-08:00

sumpah kacrut abis, masa besok (senin) gw udah masuk?? paraah!!
bsok gw udah mulai masuk semster padat (atau smester pendek pada kampus2 tertentu), gw ambil 4 SKS saja sudah cukup, ahahaha! gw ambil mata kuliah neuropsikologi ama psikopatologi anak. dooh dari namanya aja gw udah keringet dingin ngebayangin kuliahnya bakal kayak gimana bentuknya.
lumayan enak sih jam nya, ga terlalu pagi, cuma siang gitu. neuropsikologi baru mulai jam 1, haari selasa sampe kamis. dan psikopat anak jam 11, hari senen dan kamis. yaah ga terlalu padat klo diliat dari jam kuliahnya, tapi kalo diliat dari sadisnya mata kuliah tersebut, ntahlah ya.. hoping the best ajaa. kuliah cuma 4 kali seminggu, dengan jam yg ga terlalu pagi dan gak terlalu sore, mudah2an gw bisa lebih niat masuk kelas, hahaha!
bener2 ga berasa deh liburannya, belum ngebayar kerja rodi selama gw di semester 5 kemaren, terrific! gw belum puas tidurnya, jalan2nya, sosialisasinya, dan semuaa yg kerampas paksa selama gw di semster 5. tapi yaah, mungkin emang aturannya begitu, gw tau, semua anak2 kampus juga pada ga suka, tapi kita harus melanjutkan hidup bukaaan? kalo dikasih libur terus yg ada malah gak lulus2 dong, makin rame aja tu kampus dengan angkatan2 tua yg sekarang sbenernya juga udah rame, uurrghh!!
haaah, sudah2, bawa seneng aja.. hidup adalah pilihan kaaan? gw udah memilih untuk kuliah psikologi dengan tugas terasa bagaikan tiada akhir, dan mau ga mau, suka ga suka, gw harus ngadepin itu. walaupun libur cuma dikit dan membuat gw murka dengan kenyataan itu, deep down inside, gw udah siap untuk memulai belajar lagi. apalagi ini udah tahun baru, gw udah mau semester 6, gw harus punya semangat yang tinggi untuk lulus di semster 8 atau 9. gw ga mau kelamaan nongkrong di bangku kuliah, mahal boo, mana capek.. mending gw slesain aja. abis ini gw juga pengen S2, taee, banyak banget tugas yg mesti gw slesain.

kalo gw bisa memuter waktu, gw pengen balik ke masa 2 hari sbelum natal, huuh! tapi berhubung ga bisa, yaudah semangaaaat! =)

my fave quotations..

2009-01-03T12:28:00.000-08:00

guys, ini ada kutipan2 yg sumpah inspiratif banget!! gw sukaaaa bgt ama quotations ini, baca yaah! (post ini sbnernya karena gw blm bisa tidur n ga tau lg mau ngapain, ahahaha!)

"if you wanna be somebody, if you wanna go somewhere, you've gotta wake up and pay attention!" (sister act 2's film)

"The significant problems we face in life can not be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." (Albert Einstein)

"The World is three days: As for yesterday, it has vanished, along with all that was in it. As for tomorrow, you may never see it. As for today, it is yours, so work in it." (Hassan al-Basri)

"A friend cannot be considered a friend until he is tested in three occasions: in time of need, behind your back, and after your death." (Ali ibn abi Talib (radiAllah anhu))

"You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once." (oprah Winfrey)

"Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." (Hellen Keller)

"i never looked at the consequences of missing a big shot. when you think about the consequences, you always think about a negative result." (Michael Jordan)

brand new year

2009-01-02T07:05:00.000-08:00

maybe i'm late, but please let me say :

umm, talking about new year, biasanya orang kan selalu punya resolusi masing2, gw mau sharing tentang resolusi gw di tahun ini :

1. increase my GPA!!
uuh, biarpun IPK gw itungannya udah cukup, tp gw belum puas sama skali.. gw pengen naikin IPK nih,, ga ada nilai speifik juga sih, yg penting NAIK! i'll do my best, give my high-effort to increase my GPA. well, kalo ngomongin masalah nilai, emang ga pernah ada titik puas nya. terlepas dari kita adalah manusia yg ga pernah puas, pasti kita juga harus bersaing dengan tenaga kerja lainnya buat survive di karir kita nanti. dengan IPK maksimal, gw bisa memenangkan persaingan2 yg bakal gw hadepin nanti. IPK gw ibarat senjata gw. sebenrnya, IPK is not really matter, yg penting, apa yang udah kita pelajarin selama di kampus (bangsat) kita, bisa kita ambil esensinya. ga ngaruh juga kan, klo cumlaud tp hasil copy-paste paper orang, iih malu2in.. thats why mau ga mau kita hrus enjoying kuliah kita, mungkin skarang kita ga sadar, tp nanti, saat udah masuk ke dunia kerja, apalagi kerjaan yg emang dket ama jurusan yg kita ambil, pasti bermanfaat bgt buat kita, gw yakin itu. gw naikin IPK bukan untuk membuktikan kalo gw pinter (man, pinter itu relatif, abstrak dan ga ada tolak ukurnya. salah bgt klo sebuah kepintaran cuma diukur dengan prestasi akademik.. memang ada faktor akademik, tp mereka yg kurang mampu dan ga punya kesempatan kuliah, juga punya kesempatan yg sama ama kita yg kuliah untuk menjadi seorang yg pintar) or something, tapi supaya gw punya senjata yg tajam utk memenangkan sebuah persaingan.

2. Have more control of self
self-control, is the most important thing to our life. gw hrus lebih meningkatkan kemampuan gw dalam mengontrol diri. in contrast, i have to drive my self in a right way. right way disini bukan maksud gw 'menjadi orang yg baik dan rajin menabung' loh ya, haha.. sama kayak pinter, baik itu juga abstrak. everybody's born to be good, i believe. ga ada yg ga baik, Tuhan menciptakan manusia dengan SANGAT baik, satu set dengan kekurangan-kelebihan masing2 (jd gausah sirik!!). gw ga mau mematok 'baik' itu muluk2. cukuplah dengan gw lebih bisa menempatkan diri, mengekspresikan emosi dengan sesuai (kalo marah ya marah aja, kalo seneng ya seneng aja, jgn berlebihan dan akhirnya jd menyulitkan diri gw sendiri) kadarnya, juga bisa menjadi sarah yg mencintai diri gw apa adanya. gw ga tau knapa, kadang2 gw suka menyalahi diri gw sendiri untuk hal2 tertentu, naaah gw ga mau tuh ky gitu lagi. gw mau ngurangin step by step, biar bisa memaafkan diri gw, dan akhirnya bisa belajar dari kesalahan. dari situ gw mengharapkan akan lebih mendapatkan sebuah self-control, dan akhirnya gw tau apa yg harus gw lakukan selanjutnya.

3. seeking the God
apa yg lo pikirin setelah baca point ke 3 ini? hahaha, kesannya gw jauh bgt ya dr Tuhan. sebenrnya ga gitu. gw bukannya kepengen jd org yg agamis bgt, tapi gw pengen gw lebih bisa memaknai ibadah gw. gw suka klo lg shalat, ya shalat aja gitu. gw juga suka ga khusyuk gitu kalo shalat. gw memang mengharapkan ridhoNya, tp gw sendiri belum bisa memaknai shalat yg sbenrnya. urusan makna memakna, balik lg ke individu masing2. gw pun punya 'standard' makna sendiri, dan itulah yg mau gw cari. dengan gw udah mendpatkan makna itu, gw yakin, gw akan menemukan Tuhan yg sebenrnya. gw pernah baca dimanaaa gitu gw lupa, Tuhan ngomong, "saya adalah seperti apa yang engkau yakini", gw pengen membuktikan kutipan itu.. God, i hope i can find u, not only in my prays, but also in my life.. because my life is just for u, God, for u who gave me this life, this beautiful life.. thanks for gave me this wonderful life, i promise i'll live my life usefully, for me, and for everyone in this earth..

4. lose my weight for about 5-7 Kgs
udah2, gw ga mau komentar macem2, hahaha..

for u guys, hope this year gonna be a wonderful year for us..
next year not always better than last year, but from the past we could have many experiences for the better tomorrow.

award from Priska

2009-01-01T10:30:00.000-08:00

gw dapet award again, n again, waah makasiih.. kali ini si priska yg ngasih (thanks baby!)..

the rules :

Each blogger must post this rules:
Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habit about themselves
Blogger that are tagged need write about their own blog their ten things and post these rules.
You need to choose ten people to get tagged and list their names.
Don't forget to leave them comment telling them they've been tagged and to read your blog

waah, 10 random facts ya? duh apaan yak? yaudah gw pikir2 dulu,
*setelah mikir* dan inilah fakta2nyaa..

1. i have a light skin and i'm proud of it.

thank God gw punya kulit putih yg walaupun suka kliatan agak pucet (putih2 kuning langsat gitu, bukan putih yg ngepink) tapi sering membantu gw dalam berpenampilan. gw ga perlu ribet2 lagi nyari warna baju (or accessories) yg cocok buat gw, and ga perlu heboh lg klo di bawah sinar matahari krn paling jg ntar balik lg putihnya. gw juga seneng klo ada seseorang (dengan maksud positif dan TIDAK disertai pikiran2 penuh birahi atau kesirikan) muji kulit putih gw. makin kemari gw makin concerned dengan kulit gw, yaa perawatan simple aja kayak lotion, lulur, sun/UV protect juga minum air putih at least 8 glasses/day (klo ini mungkin utk mencerahkan, bukan mutihin), karena utk hal ini, gw bersyukur bgt Tuhan udah ngasih gw kulit putih, dan gw akan ngejaga itu..

2. i'm addicted to books a lot.
gw sukaaaa bgt baca buku, dan beli buku (maksudnya kan ada yg suka baca tp dia lebih sering spend their time at library atau lebih suka minjem2 aja). gw kalo udah ke toko buku, pasti kalap deh, cuma Tuhan yg bisa menahan gw untuk ga beli buku, hahahaha! lebay! gw pernah tuh, waktu ke kinokuniya (my fave bookstore beside gramedia), belanja buku ampe bangkrut, hahaha, dan gw ga nyesel sm skali.. ya secara i love reading, mau buku indonesia apa english, asal critanya bagus (klo gw lebih suka fiction romance, related-to-psychology-but-not-modern-psy books, ama fiction fantasy macemnya harry potter gitu, tapi klo ada yg bagus lg jg hajaar) gw pasti beli deh, hoo.. gw punya banyak koleksi buku, yg ada di rak di kamar gw sih kurang dr 100, krn sempit dan terbatasnya rak buku, makanya terpaksa gw titip di rak buku nyokap gw, hahaha! *nyusahin*

ini beberapa koleksi buku yg ada di rak buku kamar gw,
nyokap udah tidur n ga mungkin gw masuk kamar dia
cuma buat foto2 rak buku doang,
makanya ga bs gw foto yg dikamar dia, haha!

3. i love my twin brother so much although we always fight while bad mood.
waah kalo dia baca, mungkin dia GR nih, hihi, sudahlah.. gw sayang banget ama kembaran gw. FYI, kita bener2 kembar loh, dyzigotical twins (twins from 2 different eggs), makanya jd cewek cowok kembarnya, dan klo diperatiin (liat foto yg di bawah deh), dia terlihat begitu besar dan gw begitu mungil, hahaha.. banyak orang yg KAGUM ngeliat kita bdua, biasanya tanggepan orang, "ah masa sih kembar? kok cewek cowok?" (dasar bodoh, mana gw tau bisa cwe cowo???), "wah kembar tp beda banget yaa?" (ya iyalah, klo badan gw segede dia and tinggi gw setinggi dia, bisa kabur cowo2 yg ngedketin gw krn serem!!), atau malah, "kok sarah putih tp dia item yaa?" (ya klo putih dua2nya udah kayak duo pocong dong!!). sbenernya udah kesel bgt dengerin pertanyaan2 yg 'biologis' ky gitu, nanya tu apaa kek, yg lebih keren..
gw sering bgt brantem ama dia, mm,, mungkin adu argumen ya namanya, eh tp bentak2an juga sering sih, dan lebih sering berantemnya itu kalo lg sama2 capek, wah udah deh, bahayaa. gw juga suka ngerasa muak dengan bad habitsnya dia (ada lah beberapa kebiasaan dia yg gw benci bgt), tapi walaupun begitu, jauuuh dr hati terdalam gw, gw sayang ama dia. gw ga mau dia pergi dari gw. he's my real-actual- soulmate, body-mate, or the other kind of mates lah. perasaan itu mungkin ga bisa gw jelasin, n ga bisa dirasain sama kamu2 yg bukan kembar, tapi i hope u understand how i feel. in every breath i take, i just pray for him, for something good(s) that i wish he'll has/do someday.. =)
i love u, twin bro.. even more than that u've known now..

this is me, with him.. yes, we're different,
but every human has the differences with another human!!!

rambutnya skarang digimbal ama dia..

4. i like to hug and be hugged, hihi..
gw bingung dah mau ngasih narasi apaan, haha.. ya gw cuma suka aja meluk orang (yg gw sayang n care about lah, ga sembarangan orang juga gw peluk!), menurut gw itu enak n tulus aja.. sadar atau ga, kita bisa 'ngeluarin' bermacam2 ekspresi dengan pelukan, seneng, sedih, bahkan marah jg bisa 'dikurangin' dengan sebuah pelukan. gw pernah baca artikel, yg isinya kira2 ngejelasin kalo sebuah sentuhan fisik berupa pelukan/rangkulan, itu bisa membuat kondisi mental kita lebih baik dan merasa 'dipedulikan'. i feel warm when i'm hugging or being hugged..

5. i smoke sampoerna mild and dont like another cigs.
haah, i cant believe i'm telling you guys about my asshole-bad habit, smoking. oke, tapi bukan itu yg jd point of view gw skrng. jadi tuh, gw kalo ngerokok cuma suka 1 brand doang, sampoerna mild (MERAH, bukan yg menthol), dan gw ga suka merk yg lain. gw udah coba2in beberapa brand lain (dari company yg lain juga), tp ga ada yg enak di gw, ga tau deh knapa. gw udah ngeroko dari kelas 1 SMA, dan from that time till now, gw ga pernah ganti rokok dalam long-term-using.. aaargh, i love sampoerna so much, mmmuaaah!

kissing my sampoerna, ahahaha! *sinting!*

6. i wanna go far away from home, SOON!!!!
i took a deep breath first before i write this part.. yeah, i'm depressed at home. thats all. i wanna go away, build my life with my own way, not be disturbed and i promise i won't disturb everyone. ah gila gw udah cape banget dengan semua yg terjadi di rumah gw. teriakan, kemarahan, caci maki yg tiap malem gw dengar (ya terserahlah itu mau buat siapa caci makinya, tetep aja gw yg punya kuping ini bisa denger), bener2 bikin kuping (dan hati) gw sakit. gw pengen cepet2 lulus kuliah, nyari duit sndiri, trus cabut deh. gw ga harus ngebuat MEREKA repot2 lagi nyari duit ampe capek buat ngebiayain gw. i really need freedom, now n then. i'm waiting for that moment, in which i can step my feet away from the hell named house.. *semangat sar, 2 tahun lagiii!*

7. i'm easy to cry, easier than to yell.
gw SUKA nangis. nangis membuat gw lega, (setelah) nangis juga membuat otak gw bisa berpikir lebih baik. nangis membuat gw capek, dan akhirnya gw tidur (for relaxing). di saat marah pun gw suka nangis. gw sama skali ga peduli orang mau bilang gw cengeng (ya suka2 lo, lo punya hak kok buat ngomong). nangis gak ada hubungannya ama cengeng. orang yg cengeng, buat gw, ga harus suka nangis, dan org yg nangis mulu, ga mesti dia cengeng. nangis adalah ekspresi dari sebuah (atau beberapa buah) emosi yg kita rasain. nangis adalah hak setiap orang. masalah bukan tergantung ama nangisnya, tapi lebih kepada apa yg akan lo lakuin setelah lo nangis. diem aja gitu? atau justru feel better trus jd bisa berpikir untuk mencari sebuah jalan keluar buat masalah lo? yaa itu sih terserah si individunya aja.. (hidup punya kita ini, nangis ga ngelanggar hukum, ga dosa juga, tenang aja lah)

8. i'm a perfectionist lady, and miss matching.
yup, too true, hihi.. gw selalu ngelakuin apa aja nyariiis sempurna (because none's perfect, man!!!), ampe titik darah penghabisan (duuailaah!) juga gw jabanin dah! mulai dari paper gw yg ga boleh ada miss-spelling, ampe cara berpakaian gw yg pengen slalu matching (ini dia yg namanya miss matching!). gw pernah tuh ngeprint ulang paper gw cuma gara2 ada ksalahan apaa gitu gw lupa, rela aku relaaa. gw juga pernah marahin temen sekelompok gw karena dia ngetik hasil analisisnya dia banyak salah2, iiih sebel!!

9. i don't like horror movies, whoever the ghost is
jadi jangan pernah ngajak gw nonton film horror, ampe doraemon punya sayap juga ga bakalan gw terima ajakanmu nak.. *serius!* mau kayak apa juga bentuk hantunya, males banget!! cuma bikin ngantuk doang.. (maaf ya buat yg suka film horror, ini asli subjektif!)

10. i don't think about marriage now as i'm still 20.
ntar2an aja lah mikirin nikah, males gilaa. nikah buat gw adalah sebuah hal yang menuntut perubahan besar dalam hidup gw. menikah brarti siap untuk berkorban, dan sebuah pengorbanan gak akan sukses lo lakuin kalo dengan terpaksa. pengorbanan harus dilakuin dengan akal sehat, ikhlas dan gak mengharapkan apa2 kecuali sesuatu hal yang lebih baik untuk hidup kita ke depannya. gw masih muda, coy! yaa emang udah kepala 2 sih, tapi buat keluar rumah aja gw belum bisa, trus mau nikah? NO WAY. ga mentang2 gw mau kluar rumah trus jalan keluarnya dengan gw married, itu namanya pelarian, boss! menikah bukan pelarian, menikah adalah kebahagiaan. satu hal lagi, menikah adalah hak, bukan kewajiban. hak lo mau nikah umur berapa, mau nikah ama siapa, dan mau nikah atau ngga, asal sadar konsekuensi aja, dan harus ada pembuktian, bahwa dengan pilihan lo, lo bisa menjadi orang yg lebih dihargai dan terpandang..

AKHIRNYA SLESAI JUGA, hahahahaha!
gw disuruh ngetag 10 org, tapi bingung mau ngetag siapa,, gini aja deh, buat temen2 bloggers yg berminat sama award ini, bisa bilang ama gw (mau lewat komen atau shoutbox), ntar gw tag lo, sumpah gw tag!! hahaha! 10 orang doang nih, anyone interested???

award from evil-in-me

2008-12-28T12:23:00.000-08:00

Award dr mutya si evil-in-me

1. Sebutkan penyanyi pop favoritmu:
banyak laaah.. umm, FERGIE, is she in pop's label?

2. Apa arti EMO dari menurutmu:
EMO itu salah satu jenis aliran musik (yaiyaalah!) hardcore punk atau bisa juga pop punk, suka2 band nya aja mau kemana,, *udah ngejawab blm?*

3. Setujukah jika dangdut go-International:
dangdut udah go-int'l dr jaman roma irama dulu deh kyanya.. gw ga tau2 amat sih, cuma yg gw tau, banyak penyanyi2 dangdut kita yg karya nya udah mulai diterima di mancanegara. ya gw sih stuju2 aja, slama ga bikin malu bangsa sndiri dengan atitude2 yg ga berpendidikan yg jelas2 malu2in..

4. Koleksi album apa yang kamu miliki? Ada berapa?
buseet, banyaklaah.. albumnya fergie, umm,, coldplay, ampe nirvana jg gw punya..

5. Mengapa musik metal selalu teriak teriak (scream)?
soalnya klo nangis ntar org2 yg denger pada bingung, trus finally mereka bilang ama si personil band rock nya, "mas2, serem2 kok cengeng sih?"

sebarkan ini ke 7 org :

christa
audi
sitta
helena
audrey
priska
prita

yo2, slamat ber-award yak! bye guys!!

homework from priskaa

2008-12-28T08:42:00.000-08:00

ahahaha.. gw udah lama jg ya ga posting, jd malu sayaa.. ni gara2 liburaan, gw nyaris ga pernah di rumah, pulang2 capek, trus bobo (mudah2an ini bs dijadiin alesan, haha!).

okay, ada PR dr si priska.

1. kenapa blog kamu bernama .... ?
blog akyuu bernama peace with myself, ga knapa2 sih sbnrnya, hehe.. umm, awalnya pas gw lg bikin blog, gw lg stress berat n pengen bgt ngeluarin smuanya dlm bentuk tulisan. trus ga tau knapa tiba2 ada ide buat pake nama peace with myself, that means i have to get a peace with myself first, then i'll have the strength to peace with others, even with world.. those r my thoughts. jd dgn membaca bismillah (loh?), terciptalah sebuah blog bernama peace with myself kepunyaannya si sarah, bgituu critanya!

2. mengapa memakai template ini?
knapa ya? ga ada alesan spesifik sih, yg jelas, gw suka warna2 yg kontras, klo mau yg ngejreng paling merah, tp gw lebih suka maroon dibanding merah. n blm sreg aja nemuin maroon yg gw pengen, nah sregnya ama yg ini, yaudah bungkuuus!

3. kejadian yg gak bisa dilupain darimu?
oalaaah, ya banyak atuuuh! smua kjadian punya kenangan masing2, tapi bagi gw, yg paling ga dilupain ituu mm.. LULUS SMA!!! ahahaha! gila loh, itu ga bakal gw lupain ampe gw amnesia juga ujung2nya gw inget, haha! itu bner2 nyampur aduk antara sneng (udah lulus, lega, jd anak kuliahan) ama sedih (pisah ama temen2, ga bs ktawa2an pake sragam lg). LUAR BIASA.

3. kirim ke 10 org teman blogger
BANYAK AMAT SEH!! okay, mereka-mereka yg gw tag :

novita
pia
karin
diana ang
dinda
jopi
melinda
ippa
andini
meyriska

yak tagging akhirnya beres.. selamat mengerjakaan. mmmuaaah! *hihi*

homework dari meyriska n audrey

2008-12-19T03:12:00.000-08:00

dapet PR lg dr meyRISka and audrey ..

rules:
1. everyone who get this award are obliged to write their recent love story & these rules in their new post
2. everyone who get this award are obliged to tag 7 of your friends who have an unique love story to be shared then they must do what you do as well

wadooh, love story? my life is full of love, actually, ahahaha!
mm, ga usah jauh2, sekarang aja gw lg jatuh cinta. ama temennya temen gw. beruntung, dia ternyata juga punya perasaan yg sama ama gw. tapiii, karena 1 dan berbagai alasan (yg mrupakan hak asasi gw utk tidak mencritakannya pd publik), gw ga bisa jadian ama dia. gw ama si org ini, cuma beromantis2 ria saja, tapi no status. dia umurnya di atas gw 2 thn, tp gw rasa, dia ga bs bersikap (yg seharusnya), makanya gw agak sebel jg ama perasaan gw, krn spt nya gw jatuh cinta ama org yg salah.. but tadi, pas gw lg dngerin radio di mobil, penyiar radionya sempet ngomng, "kita boleh cinta ama apa dan siapapun, ga ada yg salah dan ga ada yg hrus disalahkan". trus gw mikir, iya juga sih,,, agak ngerubah mind set (at least persepsi) gw ttg makna cinta itu sndiri.. skarng gw ama dia lg biasa2 aja. jujur gw kecewa ama dia, krn beberapa sikapnya dia, egoisme dan ketidakpekaan dia, tp yaaa sudahlah ya. ga mau dibawa pusing, jalanin aja apa yg ada.. just take him, or leave him. maybe i can live without him, but I DON'T WANT!! jd mungkin konsekuensi yg gw hrus hadepin, jatuh cinta ama org tai macem dia. well, gw ga takut sakit, klo boleh kepedean. krn klo jatuh cinta kan kita hrus siap utk sakit. pada saat kita cinta sama seseorang, seneng, sedih, dan kecewa berjalan beriringan, BUKAN bertolak belakang..

*jd gimana PR nya? udah memuaskann??*

now its my turn to tag.. here they are :

ajeng sekar
audii
christa
dita
dharmaputera
heni
prima

oke teman2 bloggers, selamat mengerjakan PR ya, kerjakan yg mudah dulu (Laah, udah ky ujian sekolah aja).. awkay, bubye!!

penyuluhan kesehatan mental.

2008-12-18T05:41:00.000-08:00

hari/tanggal : Kamis/11 Desember 2008
Tempat : SMA Fransiskus Asisi, Tebet - Jakarta Selatan
Jam : 0930 - 1115 WIB
Topik : Anger Management (for teenagers)

waaw, sbnernya penyuluhan ini udah seminggu yang lalu, cuma berhubung gw disibukkan dengan tugas2 ujian yang deadlinenya berentet, jd gw ga smpet sharing, br skarang sempetnyaa.
jadi ada 1 mata kuliah gw (kesehatan mental) yang tugas ujian akhir nya itu disuruh penyuluhan, tema yg dipilih boleh apa aja, berkaitan dengan kesehatan mental pastinya. kebetulan yg jd sasaran kelompok gw itu anak-anak remaja, dengan rentang usia 13-18 tahun (beeeuuh remaja banget!!), setelah diskusi ampe muter-muter ngalor ngidul, diputuskan topiknya adalah anger management. kebetulan gw, ama 2 orang member dr team gw punya tuh teori tentang anger management, ama teori tentang remaja (klo ini kynya cuma gw aja yg punya, hihihi!).

anger management buat remaja dinilai penting karena pada masa remaja, terjadi ketidakstabilan emosi, yang dipengaruhi salah satunya oleh perubahan hormon, yang kemudian akan berdampak (baik positif maupun negatif) pada si remaja itu. bahayanya, ngga dikit kasus kenakalan remaja (drugs, tawuran, ngelawan orgtua, bahkan sampe kasus BUNUH DIRI!! *jgn sampe ya adik2kuuh! kalian sudah mau dewasa looh!*) yang disebabkan oleh kurangnya pengetahuan tentang anger management. fenomena itu akhirnya dipilih gw dan temen2 gw untuk memperkuat topik kita.

tahap pertama kita harus buat proposal dulu. dari mulai latar belakang, tujuan penyuluhan, manfaat, sasaran, sampe metode penyuluhan kayak gimana jg dibeberin abis di proposal ini. then, kita buat surat pengantar (minta dari kampus gitu) untuk mengajukan proposal ke skolah2 yg jadi sasaran kita.. dengan proses yg puanjuaaang dan berliku (bnran panjang, gw ga lebay loh!), akhirnya sekolah Fransiskus Asisi lah yg kita kasih penyuluhan..

dan penyuluhan pun dimulaaii..

Rundown Acara (itu jatah gw yg dimerahin, hihi!)

NO.	Acara	KETERANGAN	ESTIMASI Waktu	ALAT & BAHAN	PIC
1.	*Pembukaan dan Ice Breaking*	*Terdiri dari 2 bagian*	15 menit	Wireless mic	FANNY YULIA
	Perkenalan	-	5 menit
	Games “Tangkap Kata”	Permainan	10 menit
2.	*Nonton Film Yuk!*	*Terdiri dari 3 bagian*	*25 menit*	*Wireless mic, laptop, infocus*	SARAH
	Marah Menurut Versi Kamu	Diskusi terbuka	5 menit
	Pemutaran Film “Thirteen”	-	10 menit
	Bagaimana Opinimu?	Diskusi terbuka	10 menit
3.	*Kendalikan Marahmu*	*Terdiri dari 3 bagian*	*25 menit*	*Wireless mic, laptop, infocus, karton, spidol, CD musik, speaker*	IKA FAJARI FAJARI
	Anger Management Itu Apa Sih?	Metode ceramah	15 menit
	Kentang Berbulu & Cacing Kremi	-	5 menit
	Relaksasi	-	5 menit
4.	*Kamu Bertanya, Kami Menjawab*	*Diskusi terbuka*	*15 menit*	*Wireless mic*	LIUS SARAH
5.	*Penutup dan Evaluasi*	*Terdiri dari 3 bagian*	*20 menit*	*Wireless mic,* *kertas surat, amplop,* *lembar evaluasi, pulpen*	FANNY IKA YULIA
	Benang Merah	Ceramah	5 menit
	Letter to Forgive	Paper and pencil	10 menit
	Evaluasi dan Kata Penutup	Paper and Pencil	5 menit
Total waktu			100 menit

kesan-kesan gw selama dan setelah gw jadi fasilitator penyuluhan :

mereka anak-anak manis sbnrnya, cuma krn ga ada 'peringatan keras' dari pihak guru untuk 'be nice', jd mereka rada susah kekontrol. tapi sekali lagi, mereka manusia, mereka anak remaja yang harus kita bantu untuk melewati masa remajanya dengan 'sukses' demi kesuksesan hidup di tahap berikutnya, jadi bner2 ga ada alasan buat gw untuk marah.. gw memperlakukan mereka secara tegas, memang, tapi dengan senyum yg ga pernah pudar dr bibir gw. gw agak ngga setuju ama bentak2 atau apapun yg akan menimbulkan 'polusi', jadi gw jg mau ngebentak mereka. tapi again, mereka udah gede (SMA gt loh!), mereka harus dibiasain dikasih tanggung jawab dan sebuah kepercayaan klo mereka bisa mengikuti penyuluhan (dalam hal ini). mereka bukan anak kecil yang tiap nangis tiap dimaklumin, tiap marah tiap diturutin, ngga dong..
agak kaget juga gw pas mereka diem waktu gw ngasih materi. secara ngga langsung gw berhasil menerapkan metode harus-bersikap-seperti-anak-remaja-dan-bukan-anak-SD-lagi pada mereka. mereka bs dengerin gw dan temen2 gw, pas setelah gw mengambil alih sesi penyuluhan. wooow, kayanya bakat deh gw jd guru, ahahaha! (plis deh sarr!)
gw, yang emang dari sononya udah sayang ama anak2 kecil (ralat : anak2 yang di bawah gw, at least 3 tahun lah), dengan senang hati mengikuti penyuluhan itu. gw jadi mikir setelah ngelewatin penyuluhan, di satu sisi gw kasian, kenapa? krn anak remaja sering bgt disepelein ama org dewasa, khususnya orgtua atau guru. gw TIDAK menggeneralisasikan semua orgtua dan guru kayak bgitu ya (every human born with their own uniques. they're ALL DIFFERENT!!!). tapi yg gw liat, banyak bgt anak remaja yg msh dianggep anak kecil. hellooo, they're not kids anymore. dont spoiled them or treat them like a kids. thats totally SILLY!! pada akhirnya apa yg terjadi? mereka ga dikasih ksmpatan untuk mengemukakan pendapat, which is the most important thing to know how their mind structure. dengan mereka ngomong, kita jd bs tau, apa sih yg mereka rasain? apa yg mereka mau? mereka ga nuntut apa2 sih kayanya (again, gw ga menggeneralisasikan SEMUA remaja begitu ya!), rata2 mereka cm mau didngerin aja.. agak melenceng dr penyuluhan, gw pernah dpt news dr yahoo (ga sengaja), yg nyeritain ttg anak2 yg masuk ke dalam 'jerat' kenakalan, rata2 mereka 'nakal' itu disebabkan karena minimnya perhatian yg mereka dapet (ngebuat mereka jd cari perhatian), atau malah over-perhatian yang akhirnya ngebuat mereka semena-mena dan mengeksploit org lain (biasanya temen seangkatan atau yg di bawahnya).

udah2, kepanjangan ah kesan-kesannya, yg ada gw jd pelan-pelan curhat gini, ahahaha!

gw mau ngasih liat foto2 gw selama penyuluhan, seru deh, gw jd inget masa SMA gw, ah shiit, jd kangen n pngen balik lg, hahaha! *tapi ga bisa ya?*

ini propertinya, ada laptop ama infocus

nah klo ini peserta nya (sayangnya fotonya ga keambil smua anak2nya).
yg di tengah ituu gurunya, wakasek klo ga salah..

klo yg ini, GW!! bhwahaha,,

ini gw jg, tapi pas lagi ngejelasin materi anger management.
lagi serius nih critanya!!

ini gw pas di sesi tanya jawab

ini waktu gw lg ngedngerin sharing-an
dr anak cewe itu (gw lupa namanya).

foto bersamaa!
atas ki-ka : lius, ika, gw.
bawah ki-ka : fanny, fajari, yulia.

well, gw punya pesen buat temen-temen remaja gw tersayang (klo ga mau didengerin jg gpp, thats all up 2 u guys!) :

ayoo dong nikmatin masa remajanya, marah itu boleh loh, itu salah satu bntuk emosi, bisa buat 'pertahanan diri' juga (ngebayangin ga, klo ada org nyerempet kita pake motor trus kita diem2 aja? bisa keenakan tu org!), tapii klo marah mesti 'pas' ama kadarnya yaah. jgn larut, jgn juga ngeluarin kata2 kotor di tempat2 yg ga pas (di mall tiba2 teriak 'ah tai luh!!', atau lg dimarahin nyokap tiba2 malah galakan kamu nya, ahahaha! jangan oh jangaan!), harus liat keadaan. yup, krn udah gede, jd udah bs dooong, ngebedain situasi kondisinya. ya kaaan?!

klo punya pendapat, diomongin yah, jgn disimpen2, biar org deket kamu (bo-nyok, guru, temen2) tau apa kamu pgn, apa yg kamu rasain. tp bukan jg ngumbar2 gitu ya maksudnya, klo punya rahasia ya dijaga aja rahasianya, klo mau ngasitau ke aku boleh ko, ga ember deh beneran, hahaha!

kamu semua masih punya kesempatan utk bermain, jd main aja giih!! (sumpah aku ga bohong!) tapi inget juga yaa sekolahnya, tujuan kamu tuh apa, udah mulai dipikirin dr sekarang, itu bisa buat motivasi juga ke kitanya biar jd semangat nagapa2in,,

and last.. PATAH HATI ADALAH HAL WAJAR, ADIK2KU, hahaha! (kasus remaja yg ga akan pernah abis nih kayanya ya?)

semangat terus yaa.. enjoy ur time in your incredible phase of life. i wish i could back, but it just a wish, that will never happened.. *sad*

love, sarah

award from Diana Ang

2008-12-18T03:45:00.000-08:00

i awarded by Diana Ang (thanks Dianaa!)..

here's the rules:
1. Put the logo in your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who shared it with you.
3. Pass this award to your BLOG LOVER Friends.
4. Add your link to the list of participants below.
5. Leave a message for your nominee on their blog.

buat masalah tag, honestly gw bngung mau tag siapa, coz all my blog's friends are blog lover,
sooo, i'm tagging all my blog's friends!!

kisses, sarah.

homework from AllieAllen

2008-12-16T23:48:00.000-08:00

jaaah, gw baru nyampe rumah (dari kampus), br slesai makan, ngerokok (tak lupaa) n ganti baju, then buka blog, eh ada PR dari Allie.. ckckck..

This is the rules :
1. take a recent photo of yourself or take a picture of yourself right now
2. don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair, just take a picture
3. post that picture with no editing
4. post this instruction with your picture
5. tag 10 people to do this

wuaah gw disuruh narsis, siapa takuut..

terjadi PENYIPITAN pada mata gw akibat cm tidur 2 jam smalem

okay, skarang gw tag 10 bloggers, mereka adalaaaah :

andini .
anisaas .
citra .
dinda .
ella .
helena .
jane .
libby .
mindy .
niar.

now, take ur pic guys, dont be shy, ahahahaha.. =P

award from evil-in-me

2008-12-13T23:18:00.000-08:00

siang visitors!!

gw dapet award dr evilinme

Rules :
1. Each blogger must post this rules .
2. You need to choose ten people to be awarded and list their names .
3. Don't forget to leave them comment telling them they've been tagged and to read your blog.

i'm tagging :
Linda
tika
cikuita
priska
audrey
Lynn
Bimouw
diana ang
ditta
tami

homework from winche marinche.. =)

2008-12-13T01:21:00.000-08:00

the tag comes from winche. dont wanna take it too long, here's the rules :

The rules are simple. Use Google Image to search the answers to the questions below. Then you must choose a picture in the first page of results, and post it as your answer. After that tag 7 People.

alrite then, and here's my action (browsing, thinking, creating, imagining, HAHAH!)

the age of my next birthday :

21 years old

a place i'd like to travel :
Greece

a favourite place :
my bedroom (i can do everything i want there!!)

a favourite food :
SUSHI!!!

a favourite thing :
Laptop

a favourite color :
Black

a city (where) i was born :
Jakarta

a city that u have ever lived in :

have no. i'm living in JKT till now.

a nickname i had :

sarah

college major :
psychology

name of my love :
friends. i love my friends, as i love myself!!

a bad habit :
SMOKING!!

a hobby :
sleep =P

WISHLIST (3)

1. jadi sarjanaa!! =)

(1,5 - 2 tahun lg kira2, *semangat saraah!!*)

2. melihara kucing
(nyokap ga suka kucing jd skarang ga boleh)

3. own house..

haaah, i did it!! now let me tag 7 people. those are :

christa
danisha
gilang
karin
nenoneno
tyas
yudis

and i would like too add a person to be tagged :
ajeng sekar

buat temen2 yang kena batunya (kena tag maksudnya), happy googling yaa, hehe..
cheers!!

kabur!!

2008-12-10T09:18:00.000-08:00

haruskah gw kabur? atau bertahan aja disini, tanpa kejelasan, tanpa kepastian.
haruskah gw kabur? menyelamatkan diri gw, dan membiarkan diri gw mencari harapan baru. tapi, apakah harapan itu nantinya akan menjadi sebuah hal yang positif atau justru menjerumuskan?
haruskah gw kabur? kabur dari kenyataan bahwa, 'ini sulit!', tapi, apa sih yang sulit di dunia ini? adakah?

runaway by sarahsita hendry

mungkin gw gak harus kabur. yg harus gw lakukan adalah, tarik nafas dan hembuskan. lalu lihat ke depan. berbagai macam peluang tersedia disana. gw tinggal milih, gw tinggal nentuin. ya, karena hidup adalah pilihan. pilihan yang dipilih harus bisa dipertanggung jawabkan pada semua yang berhak mendapat pertanggungjawaban itu. kepada yang tidak berhak, jangan berharap!
nggak akan pernah, nggak mungkin, dan nggak akan menjadi mungkin.

PR dari Audrey si green-blogger (blognya dominan ijo!)

2008-12-10T05:49:00.000-08:00

beeuh, bukan cm dosen aja yg ngasi gw tugas, temen blog gw (kita, kamu, kalian, mereka) juga ga mo kalah dari dosen gw, NGASIH PR! well, well, well, as a good girl, i have to do it.

gw disuruh nampilin foto, that photo must be no editing before, no make-up-do, pure, ASELI. ORIGINAL.

ini diaaaa!!

biar kujelaskan sedikit.. ini poto diambil kira2 waktu gw SMA, 3 tahunan yg lalu deh. gw lg EXTREMELY SICK pas itu. emang ga ampe diopname siy, tp suhu badan gw nyampe ke tingkat 42 derajat, n gw udah mau dibawa ke RS ama nyokap, tapi gw nolak, ga mau ah, gila males bgt!! disitu gw ga mungkin pake make up (mandi aja nggak!), apalagi gw edit. format foto ini .jpg, bukan photoshop atau sjenisnya, hahaha!

jd gimana ibu dosen? apakah saya sudah melakukan tugas dengan baiiik? =)
hayoooo?

Last Kiss

2008-12-08T06:36:00.000-08:00

last kiss by sarahsita hendry

Pearl Jam - Last Kiss

Where, oh where, can my baby be?
the lord took her away from Me.
shes gone to heaven, so Ive got to be good.
so I can see my baby when i Leave this world.

We were out on a date in my daddys car.
we hadnt driven very far.
there in The road, straight ahead.
a car was stalled, the engine was dead.

I couldnt stop, so I swerved to the right.
Ill never forget the sound that
Night. the screamin tires, the bustin glass.
the painful scream that I heard Last.

Oh where, oh where ..., can my baby be?
the lord took her away from me. shes gone
To heaven, so Ive got to be good.
so I can see my baby when I leave this world.

When I woke up the rain was pourin down.
there were people standin all around.
Something warm flowing through my eyes.
but somehow I found my baby that night.
I lifted her head, she looked at me and said.
hold me darling, just a little While.
I held her close, I kissed her our last kiss.
I found the love that i Knew I had missed.

Well now shes gone. even though I hold her tight.
I lost my love, my life, That night.

Oh where, oh where, can my baby be?
the lord took her away from me. shes gone To heaven, so Ive got to be good.
so I can see my baby when I leave this World.

note :
1. oooh shshshshiiit! this song is extremely terrific.. but i love these lyrics. so romantic n touching..
2. umm, sebagai orang berpendidikan, hendaknya kita mengganggap jatuh cinta adalah sesuatu reaksi kimia yang normal dan wajar, serta juga sebagai proses generativitas. untuk itu, saya mengharapkan dari para visitor, maknai gambar di atas bukan sebagai sesuatu yang 'wah', 'porn', atau sejenisnya melainkan sebagai sebuah gambar, berupa bukti indahnya sebuah cinta, yang sudah Tuhan berikan ke kita ummatNya.. thank you.. =)

tragedy in my diningroom. idul adha, 2008.

2008-12-08T01:44:00.000-08:00

sbelum memulai pnjelasan ttg ritual (apa sii?), sarah n family mengucapkan : "SELAMAT HARI RAYA IDUL ADHA", kepada smua visitor blog ini, yg kebetulan merayakannya..

well, well, well,, i'm so glad that i can did shalat Ied tadi, secara pas idul fitri itu i was on a woman's period, jd gw mendekam aja di rumah, huuh! tapi idul adha sekarang, gw bs shalat, gw bs shalaaat! yeah man! Tuhan emang adil ya? idul fitri gw 'dapet', idul adha gw bebas (shalat!).

ritual dimulai dengan bangun pagi (indeed!), jam stngah 6 pintu kamar gw udah diketok2 ama si Ella (pembantu gw). she said, "saraaahh! ikut shalat ga?", then i answered her, "ikuuut!". FYI, gw tuh blm tidur sama skali tadi. ga tau knp gw ga bs tidur, jd daripada gw tidur jam 5 trus gw ga bs bangun, mending lanjut aja (duuh, terserah d ya gw mau dibilang sebagai org yg berpikiran pendek kek, I DON'T MIND!).

jam 6 lewat 10an gt, gw bangun, mandi, siap2 shalat sblum gw diceramahin oma. oia, oma opa gw kbtulan lebaranan disini, gatau knp. rumah mereka di bogor (bukan daerah asal. mereka asalnya dari Padang!). oma gw udah bacot bgt (yaa normalnya oma2 deh! agak hiper klo menurut gw, tp sudahlah!) teriak2 dari luar kamar gw, memastikan klo gw sedang bersiaaap!
kelar mandi, gw langsung masuk2in perlengkapan shalat, ama must-bring-things gw such as wallet, tissue, n mobile phones) trus langsung dimasukin ke tas.

must-bring-things gw!! yg polka itu tas gw, asal ngambil!

setelah semua siap, ga mikir 2x (ngapain jg?) gw langsung cabooot! gw cuma shalat bdua oma gw aja, krn bunda lg ga shalat (yep, woman's period!), n opa udah ga bs shalat sembarangan lg. dia udah susah klo shalat berdiri, mau ga mau di harus duduk, n repot (itu sih menurut pendapat dia), jd drpd (menurut pendapat dia jg) dia harus nyusahin org, mending dia di rumah. jd dia, ama nyokap gw jaga rumah. adit (kembaran gw) shalat ama temen2nya di salah satu mesjid besar di jakarta selatan (ga boleh nyebut namaa, hihi!), so dia udah brangkat lebih dulu drpd gw..
pas gw di jalan menuju mesjid, ada satu kejadian yg ngebuat gw miris.. jadi pas gw jalan, gw ngliat ada tukang minta-minta, mbak2 gitu, bawa bayinya. tiba2 oma gw nyamperin dia, trus ngasi duit. gw, yg kebetulan baru ngeh klo oma gw nyamperin dianya pas udah rada jauh gt (yaa stngah meter d, jauh ga sih?), males balik ke blakang, jd gw cm liat dr jarak sgitu aja. gw pratiin tu mbak2 beggar, kasiaan bgt. well, sbnrnya gw kasian ama bayinya. Ya Allah, gw pengen bgt do something tp gw ga ta hrus ngapain!? gw cm bs ngedoain dia (n beggar2 lainnya), supaya mereka dikasih kekuatan n kesempatan untuk bs merubah hidup mereka ke taraf yg lebih baik..

setelah beberapa menit, gw lanjut jalan lg. pas udah sampe, gw milih syaf yg kebetulan kosong. pan syaf kita ga boleh ada bolong2 (jarak) tuh, jd gw langsung aja ngisi yg kosong di sebelah ibu2. oma di sebelah kiri gw, n tu ibu2 di sebelah kanan gw. ga lama setelah gw pake mukena n duduk, shalatnya mulai. para jama'ah di suruh buat bediri n bersiap dengan posisi masing2 (eh?). shalat slesai, semua pada dengerin khutbah (ngga sih, pada gosip! haah, gossiping is good however!), pd ngelepas mukena masing2, ada juga beberapa keluarga yang pulang duluan ninggalin si imamnya. kasian amat yak tu imam? emang sih, gw akui n gw sadari, itu khutbah ga jelas. ga jelas suaranya (mikrofon nya ngaco tuh kayanya?!), ga jelas juga isi khutbahnya apaa (mungkin krn dr suara yg dikeluarin ama si mikrofon aneh itu udah ga jelas kali yey?), jd yaa cukup beralasan jg sih knapa para jama'ah ga ada yg mau dengerin (maksd gw, sebagian dari mereka, ga semuanya laah, hha!)..

setelah beres shalat, saatnya pulaang! gw udah laper bgt, cooy! apapun makanannya di rumah, yg penting gw makaan (yg penting halal siy, sbnrnya!). udah nyampe rumah (dengan perjalanan rada lelet, pake sempet ngeliat 'pemandangan' mbak2 beggar yg tadi, pake ngobrol ama tetangga), gw langsung ganti baju, bikin kondisi seenak mungkin (kan mo makan critanyaah!), trus menuju meja hidang. jeng jeeeeengg.. inilah hidangannyaa..

opor ayam ama sayur nangka, the ritual's tools!!
(eh ada tangannya oma, hihi!)

ko ada ayam goreng? oma gw krajinan!

ga ada acara analisis makanan lg, gw langsung ngambil ketupat n lauk pauknya. ga semuanya gw ambil sih, cm opor ayam ama sayur + rendang paru dikit (khas padang, ketupat with rendang, beuuh.. what an orgasm, beybii!!)..

keadaan si piring sebelum disentuh pemangsanya (=gw!)

acara santap menyantap pun berlangsung lancar, tanpa ada gangguan dari pihak manapun. sang ratu santap pun menikmati makanannya dengan membabi buta (dooilaah, lebay bo!). acara santap pagi (itu jam 9, brarti itungannya msh pagi kan ya?) gw dihiasi juga dengan obrolan2 santai gw, bunda, adit, opa n oma (thank God blm ada tamu yang dateng). waah enaknya berkumpul ama mereka semua. jarang bgt moment kayak gini.. for +/- 15 minutes later, piring gw praktis kosong.. taraaaaaa!!

ketupat habis tanpa sisaa,
untung ga ama piring-piringnya jg gw makan!

kosong bukaaan? see, see?? haahaa.. i'm sooo rakus, right? hell-yeaah! ya emang sih porsinya ga terlalu banyak sbnrnya. it's NORMAL portion (for normal people in a normal-planet-earth), BUT, untuk orang bertinggi 160 CM (itu jg kayanya gw lebih2in deh, hakhak!) n berberat badan 48 KG (mudah2an ga naik lg deh, on no, please GOD, don't, don't!!) macem gw gini, porsi yg gw makan td itungannya udah banyak. hmmph! *mengernyitkan jidat*

acara makan2 selesai, gw langsung balik ke kamar gw. krn blm ada tamu jg kan. gw ngrasa ngantuuk bgt (post-lunch dip = abis makan, ngantuk. salah 1 istilah psikologi), yaa secara gw kan blm tidur sedetik pun since kmaren.. perasaan ngantuk pun mendera.. gw pun bobo, lost in my dream world. then gw dibangunin dgn suara cempreng spupu2 gw, yg kebetulan mampir ke rumah, krn oma-opa stay di rumah gw (td pan udah tak bilaaang!!). gw bangun, cuci muka, ganti baju dengan yg rapihan (masa iya ktmu tamu pake boxer?? heeeh? Lebaran pula!!) trus gabung sama mereka.. ooh, such a wonderful day! alhamdulillah.. =)

I LOVE U!!

2008-12-07T09:23:00.000-08:00

LISTEN 2 ME, JERK!

"I LOVE U HONEY, WITH ALL MY LIFE, WITH ALL MYSELF. I'M CRUSH ON U!! JUST U.. NOBODY ELSE!"

GOT IT?

i love-need you. SO MUCH! by sarahsita hendry

surprise in the afternoon

2008-12-06T23:36:00.000-08:00

hahaha.. y'know what? i had a chat (by facebook) with my an-dear-onymous. then i'd to cut the conversation, because i wanted 2 smoke (bad habit, i know! enough guys, enough!). so i logged my facebook out, left the laptop (which is still turn on), took my cigs n light, went outside my room to the balcony, then smoked (hahaha. what a description!!). after i finished, i went back 2 my room n looked at the laptop. i saw that my an-dear-shit-onymous is gone.
"oh gosh!", i said.
"why u leave me so fast? why u dont wait me for a moment till i back?"
"ah, so damn u. u even cant stay 4 me. it just a moment!! few minutes. not a day, few days, many days, many years. oh, geeeez! terrific!"
i was disappointed. oh no no no, i AM disappointed (yeah, its present, STILL happening!). this is totally out of my mind. haah!
a few minutes later, after i said many cursed word that i know, i sent my an-asshole-dear-onymous a message (by phone). here is the message :

"yah dia cabut. baru aja ak mau ngirim message. hahaha! u're soo untouchable. i got late 2 realized. hmm!

for about +/- a minute, there's a reply. i read it, it wrotes :

"iya neh. gw disuruh ma nyokap. disuruh nganter titipan ke rumah temennya. bentar ya ndut!"

i replied :

"hahaha! what a statement. ok, take ur time!"

oh then there's a reply again. eh? i couldnt believe. bit amazed before finally i read it :

"apa maksudnya what a statement?"

bhwahahaha.. i havent reply it yet. till now. hahaha.. i really dont know what should i say. it will make some trouble if i make it longer. so i decide to keep my mouth off.

for u baby : "how hard u're. i cant touch u.. now, i give up. thats all up to u. where u will bring me, i dont wanna know. i'm following u, darl. i cant handle it all. u're unexpected. ure so hard, n too far! but i'm still on u, till i realized that our relationship is difficult to do."

buat kamyuu yg (merasa) punya KELAINAN..

2008-12-06T10:11:00.000-08:00

(post ini sbenernya udah ada di note facebook gw, cm entah knp gw terdorong untuk memposkan nya lagi disini)

What is the difference? the difference is :
The quality or condition of being unlike or dissimilar.
An instance of disparity or unlikeness.
A degree or amount by which things differ.
A specific point or element that distinguishes one thing from another.
A noticeable change or effect: Exercise has made a difference in her health.
A disagreement or controversy.
A cause of a disagreement or controversy.
Discrimination in taste or choice; distinction.
The amount by which one quantity is greater or less than another.
The amount that remains ... after one quantity is subtracted from another.
A distinct mark or peculiarity.
(copied from www.answer.com)

Dibawah ini ada lampiran kutipan2 yg barusan aja gw denger berkenaan dengan sesuatu hal bernama KELAINAN, dan yg di dalem kurung itu konfrontasi gw mengenai kutipan tersebut.

“gw ga mau nyusain lo dengan KELAINAN gw” (nyusain apaan sih? Emang lo ngapain ampe nyusain gw? Harga diri gw turun jg nggak, posisi kegeser enggak, IPK gw jg baik2 aja, mental gw normal2 aja, trus apa dongg??? *sambil berteriak*)

“gw takut lo ga bs nerima gw krn KELAINAN gw” (trus ngapain gw ada disini? Pan kita udeh ngobrol bareng, midnight bareng, makan bareng, nyela org jg bareng. Gmn mungkin gw bs melewati itu semua klo gw ga bs nerima lo?)

“ada KELAINAN di diri gw yg ga bs membuat gw mencapai tujuan gw” (ga ada yg ga bisa, impossible is nothing. Klo seorang ibu bisa tega membunuh anaknya, klo selangkangan bisa dijual utk ngedapetin uang, klo Pa Harto yg anak seorang petani bs jd presiden, knp utk nyampe ke tujuan aja ngga bisa? Apa bedanya lo dgn gw, dia dan mereka?)

difference .. by sarahsita hendry

Dengerin gw ya, dodol.. trus catet baik2. garis bawah, stabilo-in warna ijo, cetak miring, cetak tebal, font 72 times new roman..
kita smua tu LAIN. elu LAIN, gw LAIN, dia LAIN, mereka LAIN, semuanya jg LAIN! Jd plis deh, jgn ngomong soal KELAINAN, jgn pake KELAINAN lo sebagai senjata.. KELAINAN lo itu ditaro aja jgn dibawa2..

Terkait dengan asumsi lo bakal nyusain gw trus akhirnya gw ga bs nerima lo, sammaaa sekali salah.. org yg namanya udah cinta tu susah bwt ga nerima. Salah bgt klo lo pikir gw bakalan kabur cm gara2 KELAINAN.. ampe monyet beranak kodok jg gw bakal tetep ada disini tau! *cilukbaaa, ada kaan?*

Kecuali klo lo yg nyuruh gw pergi, br gw pergi (maklum, inisiatif gw rada menurun seiring dengan menurunnya tingkat kerajinan). Dan berhubung lo udh ngasih gw wewenang utk ngambil keputusan, keputusan gw adalah : gw ga bakal pergi. Gw ada disini bwt lo, sayangku cintaku lidah buayaku..

Ada pertanyaan?

my fave song EVER = dancing in the moonlight, by toploader

2008-12-06T10:06:00.000-08:00

dancing in the moonlight by sarahsita hendry

"Dancing In The Moonlight"
(by toploader)

We get it on most every night
when that moon is big and bright
its a supernatural delight
everybodys dancing in the moonlight

we get
everybody here is out of sight
they dont bark and they dont bite
they keep things loose they keep it tight
everybodys dancing in the moonlight

dancing in the moonlight
everybodys feeling warm and bright
its such a fine and natural sight
everybodys dancing in the moonlight

we like our fun and we never fight
you cant dance ... and stay uptight
its a supernatural delight
everybody was dancing in the moonlight

dancing in the moonlight
everybodys feeling warm and bright
its such a fine and natural sight
everybodys dancing in the moonlight

we get in on most every night
and when that moon is big and bright
its a supernatural delight
everybodys dancing in the moonlight

dancing in the moonlight
everybodys feeling warm and bright
its such a fine and natural sight
everybodys dancing in the moonlight

[repeat and fade]

the art of sleep

2008-12-06T10:00:00.000-08:00

Top 10 Facts About Sleep
Wed, Oct 30 2007

1. It's impossible to tell if someone is really awake without close medical supervision. People can take cat naps with their eyes open without even being aware of it.

2. Dreams, once thought to occur only during REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, also occur (but to a lesser extent) in non-REM sleep phases. It's possible there may not be a single moment of our sleep when we are actually dreamless.

3. REM dreams are characterised by bizarre plots, but non ...-REM dreams are repetitive and thought-like, with little imagery - obsessively returning to a suspicion you left your mobile phone somewhere, for example.

4. Humans sleep on average around three hours less than other primates like chimps, rhesus monkeys, squirrel monkeys and baboons, all of whom sleep for 10 hours.

5. Ducks at risk of attack by predators are able to balance the need for sleep and survival, keeping one half of the brain awake while the other slips into sleep mode.

The Art of Sleep.. by sarahsita hendry

6. The "natural alarm clock" which enables some people to wake up more or less when they want to is caused by a burst of the stress hormone adrenocorticotropin. Researchers say this reflects an unconscious anticipation of the stress of waking up.

7. Elephants sleep standing up during non-REM sleep, but lie down for REM sleep.

8. Tiny luminous rays from a digital alarm clock can be enough to disrupt the sleep cycle even if you do not fully wake. The light turns off a "neural switch" in the brain, causing levels of a key sleep chemical to decline within minutes.

9. The record for the longest period without sleep is 18 days, 21 hours, 40 minutes during a rocking chair marathon. The record holder reported hallucinations, paranoia, blurred vision, slurred speech and memory and concentration lapses.

10. Have you heard of Sexsomnia synrom? Well, it's a condition completely distinct from sleepwalking and is a form of sleep disorder called REM behavioral disorder. The condition can range in severity from disruptive moaning to unwanted, and sometimes violent, sexual advances to their partner.
(copied from www.notelay.com/article)

things that successfully bothering my weekends!!

2008-12-06T01:59:00.000-08:00

first of all, i have 2 tell that 7 of 10 of my exams are TAKE HOME TEST. take home test keparat ini, berupa makalah (paper), yg didalamnya terdiri dr bab 1 - 5. penulisannya berstruktur spt SKRIPSI (plis deh, gw tuh msh 1,5 thn lg skripsinyaa!!). untuk memperjelas, read the information below :

bab 1 : latar belakang, masalah penelitian, tujuan penulisan
bab 2 : landasan teoritis
bab 3 : metodologi penelitian
bab 4 : analisis
bab 5 : kesimpulan & saran
bibliografi

hmm.. now, i wanna tell u guys about my to-do-list.. the to-do-list made for exam's preparation.

1. dasar2 manajemen. gw disuruh wawancara bagian HUMAS dan Luar Negri, then disuruh analisis pake teori manajemen. (apa cobaa? gw psikologi gitu loh!! n where's the correlation??)
2. psikologi budaya. gw disuruh nonton film G30S/PKI, trus disuruh analisis pemeran utamanya (yg sampe skrng gw msh bingung nentuin peran utamanya siapa), trus disuruh buat archetype nya. (note : archetype is a kind of role that we usually do in our life. like student, daughter, president, friends, n so on)
3. psikologi pendidikan 2. gw disuruh jawab 2 pertanyaan. pertanyaan itu adalah : tentang penjalanan program pendidikan di suatu daerah, and disuruh nyari hubungan dari artikel yg udah ada (dikasih ama dosen) dengan psikologi pendidikan masyarakat.
4. kesehatan mental. gw disuruh buat penyuluhan. penyuluhan gw tema nya 'anger management'. gw buat penyuluhan di sebuah SMP negeri di bilangan jakarta selatan sana. setelah itu disuruh buat laporan penyuluhan, trus bakal ada uji komprehensif yg gw blm tau itu bakal diadainnya kapan. FYI, sebelum gw bner2 melakukan sebuah penyuluhan, gw disuruh buat latar belakang, teori n blablabla that i've told u before.
5. psikologi klinis. gw disuruh buat proposal penelitian (itu bab 1 ampe bab 3 nya aja). penelitian gw : 'melihat bagaimana gangguan identitas gender mempengaruhi peran gender dalam dunia lesbian', or something like that lah. topiknya blm fixed, kenapa? krn gw blm dapet fenomena n urgency dari penelitian gw itu. (how sad!!!!) psikologi klinis juga ada ujian tertulisnya, tentang psikofarmakoterapi.
6. statistik 2. gw juga disuruh buat penelitian. penelitian ini kuantitatif, beda ama psi klinis yg penelitiannya bersifat kualitatif. penelitian statistik ini gw mesti ngitung!! it consist of math things that make me crazy! penelitian gw : melihat pengaruh antara permen karet dan coklat terhadap daya ingat seseorang. untungnya papernya udah beres. jd gw bs SEDIKIT beernafas lega.
7. sejarah dan aliran psikologi. gw disuruh membuat perbandingan antar aliran yang ada di dunia psikologi (ya iyalah, masa ekonomi? im not on it!). gw blm dpt kejelasan info, makanya gw ga bs ngejelasin apa2, hehe.

haaah.. melihat daftar itu, gw cm bisa mengelus dada (deileeeh!). i'm not a drama queen so i dont want to treat them too much. let the flow aja lah. i'll do them, enjoy the process, then finish. i'll get my GPS score. yeaah!!

oh man! part 2

2008-12-04T10:05:00.000-08:00

i'm confused. i dont know what should i do. what should i treat u, darl.
1 thing i know = i love u..

thats enough! i'm asking, "what's truly mean of love? being neglected? being ignored? NO. I DONT THINK SO!
so how?

huuh! u make me crazy, beybi. u make my tears' falling, all day!

thank you.

oh man!

2008-12-03T18:06:00.000-08:00

bo, gw udah lama kagak nulis yak?? beeuuh, tugas kuliah lg sejibun men, jd rada susah buat bagi waktu ama blog ini.
well, selama 3 minggu ini, gw bnyak ngalamin hal amazing. ntah amazing bneran, atau amazing dalam tanda kutip. saking banyaknya gw ampe bingung how to explain that only in one post, hahaha!
umm, btw, smlm gw had a talk with my an-dear-onymous. isinya ngebicarain ttg kecuekan yg slama ini diterapkan dalam no-status-relationship yg kita jalanin. yep, no status. gw ama dia udah ky org pacaran bo, tp emang ga ada (yg mau punya) status aja. trus kmrn dia nanya ttg apa yg gw rasain slama 2 minggu gw ga ktmuan ama dia (dgn alasan = sibuk. khas org jakarta). gw blg, gw bingung. gw mempertanyakan eksistensi gw. krn sbnernya gw ga diperlakuin spt org yg dia sayang (atau mungkin, emang ky gini perlakuannya ama org yg dia sayang. gila, kasian amat!). gw akhirnya membuat confession(s) ke dia. yg gw ga sangka2, dia MINTA MAAF bo!! dia blg, dia emang bgitu, memperlakukan org yg dia sayang itu ga bs dengan sering nelfon/sms/ktmuan. dia jg blg, dia ngrasa lbh sering menghabiskan waktu ama peer groupnya dibanding gw. ya iyyyalaaah.. peer group gitu loh..
oia, gw lupa menginfokan, gw itu, kontak ama dia (by phone, sms or YM) cm malem doang. udah gitu, kesan yg gw dapet pas gw kontak ama dia, seakan2 dia males ngomong ama gw. gw ga tau gw salah apa. tp intinya bgitu. yg membuat gw makin bingung lg adalah, dia sering bilang, "i love u", or something like that lah. tp perlakuaannya dia ama gw, bner2 ga merepresentasikan kata2nya yg tadi (again, mungkin emang bgitu cara dia memperlakukan org yg dia sayang).
bagian yg paling membuat gw 'out of control' adalah, saat dia minta ama gw, untuk ttp stay there, apapun keadaanya. seakan2 gw boneka yg bisa kapan aja nemenin dia, tanpa ada prasaan apapun. man, gw punya prasaan..
lo kira, enak apa dicuekin gitu? GA ENAK!!
for u my dear : semua tergantung lo. apa yg lo tanem, itu yg akan lo nikmatin. hey, kita idup di alam nyata, dunia real, bukan di surga. lo ga bs seenak jidat nyuruh2 org untuk bertahan di sebuah kondisi yg membuat dia sedih. u idiot!! do u lost ur mind, huh?? *to be continued. i have 2 go 2 campus.

gw bingung..

2008-11-11T01:24:00.001-08:00

gw bingung,
apa sih yg gw rasain skrng? bgitu campur aduk ampe gw ga ngerti gmn hrus ngejelasinnya. ya emang gw ga wajib buat ngejelasin siy, cm mungkin org2 pd menuntut sebuah kejelasan, gw ga ngerti sbenrnya mereka berhak apa ga siy? apa untungnya setelah mereka tau? apa terus mereka bisa membantu gw menemukan label yg pas untuk mendeskripsiin perasaan gw? i dont think so.. makanya gw suka males klo ada orang yg kerepotan sendiri gtu pengen tau gw lg kenapa, "emang lo mau ngapain haah? can u do something useful 4 me? if u cant, just be quiet n sit nicely, ok!"

gw bingung,
ama seseorang yg lg gw sayang bgt skrng. gw ga ngerti sbnernya dia mau membawa gw ke arah mana siy? gw yg diputer2 di sebuah tempat, yg akhirnya gw pusing sendiri, untung aja gw blm muntah, n mudah2an gw ga muntah di depan mukanya dia, hhhhh!!! ya Allah, gw bner2 kesiksa bgt ama perasaan ini, gw ga ngerti n mungkin gw ga akan pernah ngerti klo dia masih tetep mempertahankan aksi tutup mulutnya. emang bukan salahnya dia sepenuhnya siy, gw paham, mungkin disana jg dia ngerasa bingung ky gw, ntah apa yg dia bingungin, gw ga tau, gw ga tau krn dia ga pernah bikin gw supaya tau, dia ga pernah ngasitau, bahkan 1 clue pun ga tau..

gw bingung,
karena adanya komplikasi seneng-sedih-bahagia-kecewa-marah-gundah gulana di hati gw. gila, 1 orang doang, bisa bgt bikin gw jd campur aduk bgini. es campur aja msh lebih enak drpd keadaan gw saat ini. 1 side i'm happy, n i'm proud to be happy because i love someone. itu berarti bener, bahwa cinta adalah anugrah yg pasti membawa banyak kebaikan, asal kita bs memanage nya hingga keluar menjadi energi positif. masalahnya adalah : gw belum bisa memanage nya. oh gosh.. gw kadang2 suka out of control gitu, kalo seneng, gw seneng bgt, euphoric, over-happy, tapi kalo sedih, gw ky jd orang yg paling ga bs menghargai hidup. gw memaki dlm hati, padahal ga tau tujuannya buat apa. jd makin tenang jg ngga, makin kesel iya. ky skrng nih, gw mau meledak rasanya.

Light in the darkness..

2008-10-26T05:38:00.000-07:00

Weekend with assignment is great, hahaha! Such a bullshit huh? Definitely! Today is Sunday but I have 2 pay attentions for my assignment. My body is sick, from head to toe start with headache, then stomachache, bones r painful, feet cant use 2 walk as normal as usually, n finish with mood swing. Those r because of my period.. Laptop-ing in sleep position with no energy, feeling sleepy n lil confused... I had my meal already, with no appetite n just for formality. How sad my weekend is.
My statistics’ task getting so hard 2 finishes. The task is that I have 2 analyze the social-psychology’s journal, measures with ANOVA (analysis of variance) 2 way repeated measurement. My journal’s topic is the social supports of high-risk, formerly maltreated adults. I have 2 find the structures of the journal, such as a background, an urgency, hypotheses, methodology, data analysis, and then conclusion. Honestly, The level of difficulty is low, but the level of my motivation to do it is low too, so the result will be: finished slowly... Till I write this post, I’ve finished half of it. With high-effort thinking (or dying to be) that makes me tired.
Oh Lord, I’m not on my mood today, even to finish my tasks. Although the deadline is tomorrow!!! I need rest, I need fun, I hope someone picks me up and then she/he brings me to somewhere in which I can refresh my left-side’s brain. My friend promises that she’ll call me soon, but where is she? Her voice is unheard, my mobile isn’t ringing, that means no receive call. I want to sleep, but I can’t, because if I sleep, there’ll not enough time to finish my task, coz I have to finish it before 6 pm, and then post it to my lecturer (yes, we collect it by email, so simple..)
….
(About an hour later)
My best friend’s calling!!! Haah, at last! She refreshed my mind, with simple jokes, we laughed, we shared, and we went crazy, haha! Friends r always can make our live worthier, no matter how hard it feels before, but after they come, join with us, everything going nice then. That’s why I usually called friends as a precious gift from God. God sent us friends preciously, not to be exploited, not to be hurt, but to be saved, to be happy, to be loved. Believe it or not, my mood’s stable now, back to normal, and I’m ready to finish my assignment now. There’s always a light in the darkness,, friends r the light, pure light with no contaminate, with nothing destroyed, and will always turn on as long as we keep them to turning. Keep with our love, care, touch them with hugs and kisses sometimes, to make them feel comfort and warm. I’m the one who’s always give my everything to do that..
And now, I realized again and again, how important my friends are.. How big my love to them is. Nothing can change that, even though I stop breathing, I lose my consciousness, or my heart stop beating, I’ll always love them, love my friends, love them like I love myself.. (please save our love, Dearest God, amen..)

NB: tonight, my twin brother is distracting me.. n I’m so angry, mad, n one step closer to be A KILLER!! (its uncorrelated to my story above, but I’m really DISAPPOINTED!!)

Kangen..

2008-10-21T02:12:00.000-07:00

Klo denger kata itu, yg terlintas di pikiran lo apa sih? Skedar sharing aja, kalo gw lg kangen ama org, intensitas gw utk menghubungi dia (dgn sgala akses yg bs gw pake) menjadi lebih tinggi. Either by phone, sms or email, gw pasti mengerahkan sgala daya dan upaya (terkesan berlebihan tp ya itu nyatanyaa) utk bs tau kabar dia, whether she/he is fine, has eaten or not, and the other common news..
Kita bisa kangen ama siapa aja, right? But we usually miss our close people we care about. Gw skrng lg kangen bgt ama temen gw, an anonymous person (duoohh gw bakal dimarain klo nyebut namanya, or at least, she’ll mad, so I’m sorry can’t tell). Dia dari hari minggu kmrn go abroad.. mendadak bgt perginya. Ya awalnya siy gw nyantai2 aja, tp pas dia bnran prgi, beeeuuh kangen nyaa amit2, hehe.. gw beberapa x sms dia cm bwt blg gw kangen ama dia. Gw sm dia ga lost contact siy, tp mungkin krn blakangan kita sering ktmu, jd pas ga ktmu kayanya gimanaaa gt, itu siy gw, ga tau deh dia nya gmn, gw ga mw ngarep ah, haha.. ga penting jg, kangen ga perlu ada timbal baliknya gt kalee.. Umm,, gw emang bkn orang yg sungkan utk ngomong kangen ama org yg gw kangenin (ya iyaalaaah!), Cuma bwt nginform dia kalo ada seseorang yang sayang ama dia, yg lg kangen bgt ama dia. Gw lg berbicara dalam konteks umum ya, ga terbatas orang yang kita kangenin tu siapa. Krn menurut gw, perasaan kangen ga jauh beda, paling tingkat kepedulian n kasih sayang yg bisa membedakan seberapa kangen kita ama dia.
Barusan nih, eh ngga sih, udah rada lama lah, kita telfon2an, dia lg jalan2, di sebuah tempat menyenangkan apalagi bwt anda-anda yg fashion updated (guess where?!), seneng bgt gw dnger suaranya, hihi..
FYI, dia ini temen baru gw, maybe will become 2 my best-friend someday, or super best best best friend (banyak bgt ‘best’nyaa!), as the time goes by.. baru sesaat gw kenal dia, tapi dia baik bgt ama gw. Gw jg brusaha utk do my best as well as she does. Kmrn pas gw lg dimarahin bunda n nangis parah, dia ada di samping gw. Gw nyaman senyaman2nya ama dia. Secara ngga langsung dia janji bwt ngilangin sedih gw. Pokonya dia oke banget deh, one of the precious gifts, slain jupe (waah klo dia sih udah top abiss!), nadia, baby, n few others (ga usah disebutin smua lah, hihi!),,
To my brand-nu-friend: “hey sist, pulang dong, kangen bgt nih aku, good luck in there yaa! SEMANGAT!”

college is extremely confusing but lots fun

2008-10-08T00:23:00.000-07:00

first of all, i wanna let u know about my to-do list ..
Statistik (paper field project)
Sejarah Aliran Psikologi (paper strukturalisme, heading 4 comprehension test)
Kesehatan Mental (personal project, topic : Anger n anger management)
Pelatihan (training’s module for sales promotion girls, topic: Flexibility)
Psi Klinis (summary, sub-topic: Gender)
*And I’m having special relationship with my laptop, hahah!*

tadi baru aja gw discuss ttg statistik ama klompok kerja gw. bingung mau pake topik apa, bingung mau masukin fenomena apa ngga. temen gw yg udah muak duluan akhirnya mengakhiri acara kerja kelompok gw, with headache n cursing this task, she go. gw jg akhirnya dadah2han ama tmen gw yg satunya, n memutuskan utk ke plaza semanggi aja. now i'm at soho music, cafe yg enak bgt disinggahi when u need time out. yaudeh, akhirnya terpikirlah gw utk posting, udah lama jg gw absen..

kuliah emang memuakkan, capek, driving me crazy, but i feel lots fun with that. there's black n white in our life, positive n negative side, given by God the Gracious.. seneng bs ktemu temen2, sharing atau skedar ngelontarin joke2 meaningless. bs ktawa bareng mrk, haaah indahnya mempunyai banyak teman.. jadi lebih mudah untuk melewati tahap kehidupan. jd lebih enjoy utk ngelewatin pahit manisnya perkuliahan. walaupun suka muak sndiri kalo udah kbanyakan tugas. sumpah serapah, caci-maki, n hujatan, praktis gw lontarin dr mulut dosa gw, haha! ya namanya jg lg stressful. dengan sgala kebangsatan kuliah, gw tetep ngerasa fun. malah gw bs finishing my tasks on a happily way.. apalagi kuliah psikologi, bs sambil brobat jalan, haha,.

college is extremely confusing but lots fun, i feel.. thank God u give me chance to get one..

Jupe, I love u..

2008-09-25T06:51:00.001-07:00

Gw puya seorang sahabat, namanya jupe (bukan Julia Perez loh!), she’s my super best friend ever!! She’s everything for me.. gw kenal jupe waktu SMA, pas kls X (kls 1 kalo skolah non-KBK) gw sklas ama dia. Awalnya duduk sebelahan pas praktikum kimia, trus ngobrol2, jadi nyambung d. beberapa kali jalan bareng, ke kantin bareng, sampe akhirnya gw pindah tempat duduk sebelahan ama dia.. gw ama jupe udah kayak pantat kanan-kiri, nempel mulu.. gw sayang bgt ama dia. We love each other, we have many things in common. Saat bersama jupe gw akuin sbg saat-saat yang indah bgt, walaupun Cuma makan bareng dikantin doang.
Jupe adalah cewek yg keras, cuek n apa adanya. Gw ama dia sama2 keras, but kita punya karakter keras on a different way, n we can combine it with our love. So we can b best friends. Dia cewe mandiri, cantik, open minded, n ga pernah nuntut apa2 dr hidupnya. Dia ngejalanin hidupnya dengan sebuah spontanitas, beda ama gw yg terorganisir dgn baik. Dia agak kontra ama org konservatif, like I am. Dia kurang dapat kebahagiaan di keluarga dan masa kecilnya, so was i. dia adventurous, gw setengahnya. Dia risk taker, gw dua per tiga nya. Dia suka main api, gw takut ama api2an. Dia cinta kebebasan, apalagi gw.. dia believeable, lebih2 gw.. dia cuek bgt ama lingkungan, ga kayak gw yg peka. Dia marah, gw nangis. Dia eksplosif, gw ngimbangin dengan sebuah peredaman .
Gw jarang ribut ama dia, apalagi dengan alasan perbedaan prinsip. Gw emang pernah brantem beberapa kali, tapi itu sifatnya krn kesalahpahaman aja, bukan krn suatu hal yg principle. sampe skrng pun, kita blm brubah, walaupun Kesibukan membuat gw jarang ktmu dia.
Barusan Gw kangen banget ama dia (makanya gw termotivasi utk buat blog ini), trus akhirnya td gw sms dia. “pe, I miss u”, udah cm gitu doang. Krn gw jg ga tau mw sms apa. Dia akhirnya bls n bilang kalo dia kangen gw jg. Gw pengen bgt ktmua dia, udah lama gw ga ktmuan. Tp kapan yaa? Tp Gw sama skali ga pernah mempermasalahkan itu, krn bagi gw, persahabatan bukan diliat dari how many times u meet him/her, but how good the meeting is.. itu yg penting. Yeah, it’s a friendship. Pertemanan bukan kayak hubungan dagang, pertemanan adalah cinta tanpa syarat, seperti air yang mengalir di sungai, sperti nafas manusia saat masih hidup, seperti jantung yang tidak pernah berhenti mempompa darah sampai Tuhan menyuruhnya untuk berhenti. dia emang ga dateng disaat gw nangis, krn gw jg ga dateng disaat dia marah. Dia ga usah dateng, krn buat gw dia ngga pernah pergi. Gw jg ga akan beranjak sedikitpun dari dia, gw tetap disini, disampingnya..
Kalau jupe adalah sebuah anugrah, maka jupe adalah anugrah terindah..
I love u, Jupe..

Being single, so what?!

2008-09-24T05:30:00.000-07:00

Barusan gw mikir, kalo pada bln ini, tepatnya tgl 29, gw genap 6 bln jomblo. Gw putus ama mantan gw tgl 29 maret, dmn saat itu usia jadian gw nginjek 3 tahun, pas bgt pd hari itu, jam 12 malem pula putusnya.. its terrific, wasn’t it? Yep, but I have to choose, I cant stuck on this relationship, that cant make me better. Of course, We (me n my ex) didn’t try to kill each other, but we cant find it better though. We are always heading conflicts, empty debates, no positive progress,, I can stay, but I don’t want to stay, I have to move on, I want move on. my life is not only about passionate relationship, but also independent commitment. Komitmen bebas maksud gw adalah, kita punya komitmen, tanpa pengekangan dr masing2 pihak, dan bertanggung jawab terhdap komitmen itu.. believe, that’s the key.. gw ngrasa udah ngga ada believe dr dia (my ex). Gw ngrasa ga dipercaya. Kecintaannya yang (suppose) berlebihan membuat dia jd ga percaya. Pergaulan gw yang (suppose, too) lebih luas, sifat gw yg bebas, membuat dia jd labil menilai gw. Kdang dia percaya, kadang nggak.. gw ga bs, jadian ama orang ga inkonsisten. Usianya dia, harusnya udah pny konsistensi yg lebih tinggi dr gw, cm emang, qta ga bs melihat sifat apalagi kdewasaan seseorang just by his/her age. Iya kalo dia bs ngambil pengalaman hidupnya sbg sebuah pelajaran, klo ngga?? Mati aja lu!
Udah hampir 6 bln gw jomblo, gw ngrasa bebas, nyaman, apalagi utk menjadikan diri gw lebih baik, either utk pribadi gw, atau untuk cowok yg nantinya akan jd pendamping gw. Mungkin krn pas jadian gw ngrasa dikekang bgt, gw ngerasa sempit.. 3 tahun penuh kesempitan, 3 tahun tanpa kualitas,, 3 tahun kebuang sia-sia, haduuh..
Relationship bwt gw ga main-main. Perlu 3 hal (seperti yang dibilang oleh teori triangulasi cinta yg gw pelajarin di matakuliah psikologi sosial), yaitu intimasi, passion, dan komitmen. Kalo Cuma passion (cinta yg bikin deg2an itu loh) doang, bukan triangulasi dong namanya.. gw sering blg sm temen2 gw yg br putus cinta n kbetulan dia nangis ke gw, bahwa pacaran itu ga cm modal cinta aja (makan tu cinta!), mesti ada keselarasan antara 2 individu itu. keselarasan akan ada dengan kepercayaan, kualitas komunikasi yg baik, serta kebebasan yg bertanggung jawab. Gw org yang menjunjung tinggi kebebasan bertanggung jawab. Sperti kata Mahatma Gandhi, “development without freedom is nothing”. Gw membebaskan orang2 disekeliling gw utk menjadi apa yg mereka inginkan, tp gw mengingatkan mereka kalo apa yg kita lakuin, harus kita pertanggung jawabin, ntah ama diri kita, keluarga, Negara, dan Tuhan. Ntah untuk dunia, atau akhirat. As long as we have responsibility to them, yaudah, go ahead lah.
Peduli amat ama kritikan sirik orang, toh mereka jg gat au apa2, kalo mereka tau gw yakin mereka ga akan komentar sinis. Advice2 pofitif, dukungan, dan semangat dari orang2lah yg harus kita balas dengan sebuah hasil yg baik dan ngga ngecewain mereka..
Dan selama belum ada orang yang bisa memberikan gw hal2 tadi, gw akan tetap bahagia menjadi seorang single.. dan kalo ga ada cowok yg bisa gw pegang omongannya, bs gw percaya, konsisten dengan apa yang ada dlm dirinya, sayang dengan dirinya seperti dia sayang ama gw, jgn harep aja gw bakal nerima dia, jgn harep hubungan gw bakal awet tama dia, males bgt..
being single, emang knp??

What happened with u, mum?

2008-09-22T01:24:00.000-07:00

Lo hrs tau, bahwa kmrn mlm, menjadi salah satu malem tersedih gw, ya masuk the top 20 lah, hehe! Semua berawal dari kepergian gw, bunda, n adit (kembaran gw), ke senci, lantaran bunda pgn bgt makan pizza marzano. I don’t know why, I don’t know what the motive is, tiba2 bunda ngomong, “sarah ngga sopan bgt sih, smsan mulu, kayak ngga ada hari lain yang bs dipake bwt bls sms aja”, blablabla.. mulai dari situ, kemarahannya berlanjut, di debenhams marah, berlanjut, bentakan demi bentakan gw terima, smakin lama kuping gw smakin sakit. Yg lebih sakit lg, gw ibarat roller doaster yang setelah dimarain, dibaikin, dimarain lg, dibaikin, bujubuneng, dikiranya hati gw dodol yg kenyal, hati gw bkn dodol. Hati gw rapuh, hati gw haus, haus kasih sayang bunda. Hati gw smakin panas, sepanas mata gw, krn kelenjar air mata sdg bekerja optimal pd saat itu. dan pd akhirnya, si air mata itu ga bs gw bendung, gw nangis di kamar mandi debenhams. Tangisan yg bner2 mengexpresikan perasaan gw. Tangisan yg bgitu tertahan, krn ga mungkin gw nangis jerit di toilet debenhams dong, emang ga bs jg sih sbnernya, jd yaudah, cm nangis2 diem aja, sama skali ga puas. Ampe rumah gw lanjutin tangis gw, krn ternyata bunda msh melanjutkan marahnya. Tadi, pas gw ke senci, dia masih smpet nyakitin gw dgn lontaran2 judesnya dia..
Bunda, knp sih bunda judes bgt sm sarah? Knp bunda bgitu dingin? Sampe sarah ngga bs merengkuh bunda, saking terlalu dinginnya. Knp kasih sayang itu begitu singkat? Sarah bahkan belum smpet menikmati saat-saat itu.. tapi gpp ko bun, kalo emang marah-marah buat bunda nyaman, marahlah.. kalo memang sarah adalah sebuah kesalahan, salahkan lah, salhkan sarah atas smua ini, jadikan sarah bonekanya bunda dmn bund abs ngapain aja seenak hati, sarah gpp. Sarah baik2 aja bun. Sarah sayang sama bunda, dan sarah jg tau, bunda sayang sama sarah. Bunda cm lg stress aja kan ya bun? Bunda cm lg sakit aja kan ya? Gpp sarah ngerti, akan selalu ngerti. Sarah janji sarah akan terus berdoa buat bunda, ngebahagiain bunda, bikin bunda seneng, tapi ijinkan sarah melakukan semua itu, dengan cara sarah sendiri. I’ll show u mum, that I’ll still stand up, I’ll fly with my own wings, n someday, I know u’ll realize, that I’m not as bad as u think, I PROMISE i'll make u realized..
what happened with u, mum?

Buka puasa featuring reunii,,

2008-09-19T12:08:00.000-07:00

Tadi gw buka puasa bareng anak-anak kelas gw (XII IS C), walaupun yg dateng cm sgelintir, tapi udah enak bgt, ktmu sm mereka, bersama-sama menuju sebuah tahap hidup dewasa, padahal dulunya petakilan ga jelas.. skrng msh tetep petakilan, tp tentunya bukan petakilan ala anak SMA lg.. td sempet ga dapet tmpat, yoii puasa2 gini mall udh ky pasar ikan, ruamee gelaa, jdlah gw batalin puasa dgn sebotol frestea, tp berhubung gw ga laper2 amat, jd gw tenang klo ga dpt tmpat.
Masa kls 3 emang enak bgt, mungkin krn kita senasib, sama2 deg2an sebelum ujian, sama2 nervous pas ujian, blajar bareng, pusing bareng, dan ktawa2 bareng setelah lulus, bner2 indah tu masa, yg ga akan pernah gw rasain utk ke-2 kalinya. Totally memorable. Skarang, udah pd sibuk masing2, egosentris harus dinaikkan demi kelangsungan hidup yang akan datang, makanya ga bs disalain jg kalo mrk ga bs dateng krn kesibukan, ga bs disalain kesibukan jg, krn sbnernya kan tergantung pada pilihan yg mau kita ambil, lo mau dateng apa ga nya,, td gw makan nasi goring special, yg lain jg makan dengan menu masing2.. smpet becanda2, poto2, nyela org, yaa kebiasaan2 masa muda lah, hehe!
Gw, yg emang suka nyela, merasa bebas lepas nyela temen2 gw. Adi ama dinda yang kbagian sial gw cela. Dinda emang pantes dicela, hahaha! Dia anaknya easy going bgt, jd ga punya keleluasaan yg lebih bwt nyela dia, krn gw ga takut utk nyinggung dia kan, nyinggung jg bodo amat sih sbnernya, hakhak! *piss din!* lagian sih dia yg ketua acara, eh dia yg datengnya lama, kan ngeselin, pake bilang bukan dia lah ketuanya, ah dasarr!! Gmn ga mau gw cela coba? Hohoho.. tp ya itu, smua nya dilewatin on a friendly way, ga ada maksud bwt ngejatohin. Makin ksini, kita pada umumnya (gw pd khususnya) makin sadar, kalo true friends itu, ga harus ktmu tiap detik, tiap jam, tiap hari.. kita mungkin aja ga ketmu for a long time, tp kualitas pertemuannya bner2 tinggi. Jd yg penting sbenrenya adalah ‘how good’, bukan ‘how many times’, betul tidaakk??

best-friendship poem's i like..

2008-09-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

Send My Friend An Angel
by Corky Ferguson

Please send my friend an angel.
Send her one of mine;
A loving and caring one,
The best that you can find.

Please send my friend an angel,
And trust her with its care;
Someone or something for her to love,
And to always be there.

Please send my friend an angel,
One to help her fill her days;
With hope, love, and laughter,
And the warmth of sunshine rays.

Please send my friend an angel -
You know she gave me one of mine.
Please send her down an angel;
A true friend's hard to find.

phone call that makes me realized..

2008-09-17T09:09:00.000-07:00

Barusan sahabat gw (sebut aja dia Dino) nelfon, dia crita kalo cewe yg dia suka itu jadian ama cowo lain. Sebenrnya si dino jg ga tau, tu cewe bneran jadian apa ga. Tp dino udah takut minta ampun. Ampe dia bingung dia harus gimana.. gw, sebagai org yg saat ini dia percaya, jg ikutan bingung harus ngomong apa, hehe.. krn menurut gw, gw ama dino punya otak yg beda kalo udah masalah cinta. Terlepas dari peran gender loh yaa..
Dia sayang banget ama ni cewe (sebut aja dia Dian), perasaannya begitu besar dan pun tau itu. tapiii, di sisi lain, ada 1 cewe lagi (sebut aja dia Jenny), yang sayang bgt jg ama dia. Mungkin prasaan sayang Jenny ke Dino, sama besarnya kayak prasaan sayang Dino ke Lulu. Si Dino, pengen banget jadian ama Lulu, emang udah pernah jadian sih, Cuma harus putus krn factor keluarga (which is Dino sayang bgt sm keluarganya dan ga mau mengecwakan mrk, jd Dino pun berkorban), akhirnya mrk cm HTS (hubungan tanpa status) aja. Selain factor kluarga, menurut Dino, factor kualitas waktu juga jd pertimbangan. Lulu yg kuliahnya jauhh, ga bs spend much time, as much as jenny does. Jenny lebih pny banyak waktu, makanya itu si Dino jg ga mau ngelepasin Jenny. Dino ngrasa ngedapetin smuanya di Jenny, yang dia ga dapetin dari Lulu. Tapi, prasaanya dia berat ke Lulu. Dino lagi pusing karena Lulu jadian ama cowo lain. Dino ga mau kehilangan Lulu, tapi untuk jadian ama lulu, otomatis Dino harus mengorbankan keluarganya, juga Jenny. Haaah sahabat gw itu lg dilemma. Ya iyalah.. kalo ga mah ngapain jg dia nelfon gw ampe kpusingan gt, hehe! Gw bilang ama Dino, bahwa hidup adalah pilihan. Emang sih, poligami lg ngetren, tapi kalo udah punya 1, gapain mau 2 sgala sih?? Kan soulmate bukan hendphone, mereka punya sesuatu dlm dirinya, bernama hati. Hati, jgn ampe tersakiti oleh apapun. Disaat cinta udah terasa menyakitkan, mau ga mau kita harus memanipulasi keadaan sedemikian rupa, biar cinta itu tidak kluar sebagai sebuah energi negative. Cinta kan indah bgt. Tp skali lg, hanya ada 1 cinta. Gw lg berbicara dalam konteks wanita pada umumnya, yg anti-poligami, tanpa mengurangi rasa kagum gw ama ibu2/mbak2 yg skrng lg dipoligami.. dalam konteks wanita 'umum', kita tentu ga mau dong cowo kita dibagi2 ky kue tiramisu gt. pada akhirnya kita harus milih, krn belum tentu kan tu cewe2 yg dket ama Dino, mau di'poligami'? sama spt cwe2 pada 'umum'nya. hidup adalah pilihan. cinta memang kita terbarkan pd siapa aja, tp utk menjadi pasangan hidup kita, kita hrs nentuin. kalo dua2nya mau, enak di lo ga enak di gw dong? hehe.. bwt dino, yg mungkin baca blog gw, tentukan pilihanmu nak.. mungkin ngga skrng, ntah kpn, tp gw yakin, pd akhirnya, tuntutan utk meilih pun akan lo hadepin. dan saat itu terjadi, ikutin hata hati lo, jgn pake egoisme lo utk bs memiliki dua2nya..
ama tadi yg gw blg di telfon, "cinta dan logika jgn saling tumpang tindih. mereka harus berjalan beriringan, agar ga ada yang menyakiti, dan tersakiti.."
i love u my best!! =)

statistik drives me kreyzeh!!!

2008-09-16T09:33:00.000-07:00

Mata kuliah yg paling gw benci dengan segenap hati gw adalah STATISTIK. Knp sih di dunia ini mesti ada ilmu statistika? Knp msti diukur secara kuantitatif kalo bs dengan kualitatif? Itttuuu.. dia masalahnya! Gw udah ntah brp kali gagal di kuliah stat, knapa lg kalo bukan krn emang gw males blajarnya. Gw lebih baik disuruh ngapalin teori bejibun, drpd hrus ngitung sgala macem. Iih amit2 7 turunan, ogah bgt gw. how sad my life is, stat aja susah bgt bwt bisa nya.
Dan lo harus tau ya teman2, bsok gw ada KUIS statistik (curse words!), which is gw blm blajar sdikitpun hingga detik ini n lebih memilih utk nulis blog sajaa, hehe! (anak bandel!) gmn ya caranya utk menghipotis diri gw supaya setidaknya gw mau buka buku stat? (romy Rafael, can u help me?) haduuuh Tuhan, males bgt gw ama mata kuliah ini. Mau kabur jg ga bs, ini harus gw hadepin mau ga mau, suka ga suka, jd gw pgn bgt smua brakhir, tp gmn caranya biar smangat belajar stat gw tumbuh dengan sendirinya? Bukankah, smua akan menjadi lebih mudah jika kita mennjalaninya dengan perasaan cinta? cieee.. blm kuis aja bahasa gw udah ngalor ngidul gini, hehe!
Doain gw yaaah.. I’m scared,, =(
StatistiKampret!!

Divorced parents' not a reason (for me)

2008-09-15T00:32:00.000-07:00

Orangtua gw kurang beruntung dalam pernikahan mrk. Mrk got divorced when I was 12. it’s hurt, really hurt. It’s hard to describe gmn prasaan gw pd saat itu. as a normal child, I want them fine, I want them to always stay beside me. Tp knyataan bicara lain. Allah pengen gw tumbuh di keluarga terpecah. Indeed, kita sbg manusia Cuma bs pasrah nerima apa yang Dia hidangkan bwt ummatNya.. for the next few years, gw tumbuh jd remaja yang ga jelas. Nilai plajaran gw ancur, walaupun gak parah2 bgt, tp bisa lah dikategoriin ancur. Gw jd anak yg ga kenal siapa diri gw. Ntah apa yg ngendaliin gw pas itu. shalat jarang, blajar apalagi, wah kumplit! Dunia akhirat gak ada yg beres. Sakit mental, itu diagnosis gw bwt diri gw. Lepas SMP, masuk SMA, ga brubah jg awalnya. mental gw msh sakit. Jiwa gw msh labil, fisik gw trasa rapuh. Hati kecil gw akhirnya ngomong, gw ga bs terus2an gini. The show must go on. Hidup gw ditangan gw, bukan di tangan bunda yanda yang notabene ga punya waktu bwt gw. Jd utk apa gw menghabiskan wkt gw bwt mereka? Slowly but sure, I repaired myself for the better life. I concerned to my school, I enjoyed my life perfectly. Naik ke kls 2, gw melesat. Gw bs nuntasin smua bidang studi di skolah gw. Gw jg aktif di osis. Gw puas dengan hasil gw itu, dan gw hargai diri gw sndiri. Gw mulai ‘mempercantik’ diri, gw pduli ama diri gw, ga sembrono lagi, dan itulah awal kecintaan gw dengan diri gw. Gw bs membuat temen2 gw nyaman, gw bs menjalin sebuah hubungan special dengan cwo (dan menjaga hubungan gw), gw jg bs menghargai dan memaknai sebuah persahabatan. Gw seperti punya banyak pilihan dlm hidup. Masa kehancuran gw udh lewat. Skrng saatnya gw mengumpulkan kembali kepingan2 itu, dan menyusunnya seperti sbuah puzzle yg hrus disusun menjadi sebuah gambar, sesuai keinginan gw.
perceraian menurut gw bukan alesan kita utk macem2. ya lo kalo mw macem2 mah macem2 aja, ga usah nunggu parents lo cerai dulu.. ah ilaah, jd emosi gini gw..
ya intinya, apapun kondisi rumah lo, keuangan lo, harga diri lo, asam lambung lo (lah?), tetep cintailah diri lo sndiri, klo ngutip dr iklan, "klo bukan kita, siapa lagii?". prinsip gw sih : jgn pernah ngemis dr org lain, termasuk orangtua, ogah bgt. mereka punya kwajiban bwt nafkahin kita, tp bkn brarti bs seenak jidat minta-minta ini itu jg kalee.. independent lah pokonya, MERDEKA!

child abuse, dont u dare!

2008-09-14T02:37:00.000-07:00

gw cinta bgt ama anak kecil. mnurut gw, mreka bgitu indah, bgtu putih.. mereka penuh kasih sayang, mereka penuh kehangatan. gw ga ngerti knp gw bgitu mencintai mereka. gw jg ga ngerti knp gw bgitu napsu pengen masuk peminatan klinis (anak), jg demi mereka. gw pgn available utk mereka. gw pgn mereka nyaman sm gw. gw pengen sampe mati hidup gw cuma utk berbagi kasih dengan anak kecil. nanti, kalo emang gw dikasih kesempatan utk punya anak, insyaAllah, gw akan menjadi nyokap masa depan buat dia, gw ga mau dia ngerasain apa yang gw rasain waktu gw masih kecil. gw ga mau, dia nangis krn gw, dan gw ga mau, dia ngrasa 'sial' punya nyokap ky gw.
anak kecil diturunin Tuhan utk menambah keceriaan dunia, mnrut gw. coba kita bayangin kalo dunia ini isinya 'org gede' smua? pasti sempit bgt, sibuk bgt, ga ada ktawaan anak kecil, ga ada tangis manja mereka, waah hampa bgt..

gw suka miris kalo ngliat berita2 tentang child abuse. gw ga ngbayangin gimana mreka kesiksa, dengan pelaku siksaannya adalah org yg seharusnya menyayangi mereka. mereka dibuat ga berdaya, mereka dibuat ketakutan, bahkan sampe gak bernyawa. astaghfirullah, gw pengen bgt nyelametin mereka kalo emang gw ngliat fenomena itu di lingkungan gw. tapi untungnya di lingkunagn gw gak ada abuse2 yg aneh gt. kalo pun oneday gw dapet case abuse ky gt, pasti emosionil bgt bagi gw. krn anak kecil kan bukan samsak, mereka punya ersaan. mereka mungkin gak secerdas org dewasa, tapi org dewasa jg blm tentu secerdas mereka. jadi gw ga setuju kalo anak-anak dijadiin proyeksi bwt ngeluapin emosi negatif, stress dan kejenuhan org dewasa. gw cuma brharap, Tuhan ngampunin mereka yang udh menzalimi anak-anak polos itu, amiin..

tugas matakul kesehatan mental = bedah film

2008-09-14T02:29:00.000-07:00

Film ini bercerita tentang kehidupan anak lelaki yang mental retarded, serta mempunyai disability, yaitu tidak bisa berjalan dan harus memakai penopang dari besi untuk menopang kakinya agar bisa berjalan. Di film ini diceritakan bagaimana Forrest bertahan hidup dan mengejar masa depannya, dengan dukungan orang-orang sekitar yang baik padanya, walaupun tak jarang ia mendapat makian dan penolakan dari sana-sini. Ibunya mengajarinya banyak hal, hingga ia bisa menjadi seseorang. Ia juga bertemu dengan Jenny, wanita yang ia cintai namun kisah cintanya tidak berjalan mulus. Tak lama setelah mereka dipersatukan lagi dan menikah, tetapi Jenny akhirnya meninggal karena terkena penyakit, dan Forrest tinggal bersama anaknya, yang juga bernama Forrest.
Adegan dalam film ini banyak yang menarik. Awal filmnya saja sudah menarik, yaitu saat Forrest mengatakan pada orang yang sedang menunggu bis bersamanya, bahwa hidup itu seperti sekotak coklat, kita tidak akan pernah mengetahui apa yang kita dapatkan. Saya setuju dengan kutipan tersebut, karena menurut saya, hidup ini sungguh unpredictable. Kita tidak bisa tahu apa yang ‘disajikan’ berikutnya, seperti sekotak coklat yang diumpamakan oleh film ini. Saya meyakini bahwa hidup saya (dan semua manusia) seperti itu.
Selain itu, adegan saat ibunya Forrest mengatakan pada Forrest, “You are as the same as everybody else, You are no different. (kamu sama seperti yang lain, tidak ada bedanya).”, juga menjadi adegan yang membuat saya tersentuh. Saya merasa sedih, namun senang dan ‘terhibur’ juga, karena merasa disadarkan bahwa memang semua orang sama, apapun ‘penderitaan’ yang mereka punya dan hadapi, mereka mendapatkan peluang yang sama untuk meraih apa yang mereka cita-citakan. Begitu juga dengan hidup saya. Apapun persoalan, cobaan dan kondisi saya saat ini, saya tetap harus maju dan mengejar cita-cita saya, karena saya mempuyai kesempatan yang sama dengan ‘mereka’, dan itulah yang menjadi pegangan hidup saya.
Adegan di mana Forrest sedang bersama Jenny, seorang anak yang pertama kali menawarkan kursi di bis sekolah yang sama-sama mereka tumpangi, juga menarik perhatian saya. Saat itu, hanya Jenny yang bisa menerima Forrest. Setelah itu mereka semakin dekat, saling mengisi dan bertukar ‘ilmu’. Contohnya ketika Forrest mengajari Jenny bergelantungan di pohon, sementara Jenny mengajari Forrest memanjat. Mereka saling mendukung satu sama lain. Sampai pada suatu hari, saat Forrest sedang diganggu oleh anak-anak nakal, Jenny menyuruhnya untuk berlari. “Run Forrest, Run! (larilah Forrest, lari!) ”, teriak Jenny. Forrest pun berlari, dan terus berlari, hingga ia bisa berlari sangat cepat. Pada akhirnya juga Forrest menjadi pemain football dan membawa nama universitasnya. Adegan ini membuat saya menangis terharu, karena disini terlihat bagaimana Forrest mendapatkan support dari seorang teman, dan senang karena akhirnya ia bisa melakukan sesuatu yang tadinya terpikir sangat tidak mungkin bisa dilakukan oleh seorang anak dengan disability seperti Forrest. Bagi saya, kondisi seperti ini sering saya temui di kehidupan saya. Pada saat saya merasa sesuatu itu sangat mustahil saya lakukan, saya tidak berusaha lebih keras (karena sudah berpikir bahwa saya tidak akan bisa) lagi untuk bisa melakukannya, namun saat saya mendapat support dari lingkungan sekitar saya, saya merasa termotivasi untuk berusaha terus, dan pada akhirnya saya memang bisa melakukannya, saya hanya harus berusaha lebih keras lagi.
Adegan selanjutnya yang menyentuh emosi saya adalah saat Forrest sedang berperang membela Amerika di Vietnam. Saat itu, serangan datang tiba-tiba, Forrest teringat kata-kata Jenny untuk berlari, dan ia pun berlari. Kemudian ia tersadar bahwa saat itu ia berlari sendirian, ia teringat Bubba, temannya sesama prajurit angkatan darat, lalu ia kembali dan mencari Bubba. Ia dan Bubba sudah berteman baik, dan berjanji akan membuat bisnis udang bersama-sama. Saat ia mencari Bubba, ada banyak yang meminta pertolongannya, dan saat ia menemukan Bubba, ia melihat Bubba terluka. Ia menggendong sahabatnya itu dan menyelamatkannya. Namun sayang, ia harus kehilangan Bubba. Ia sangat sedih, karena menurutnya, persahabatan seperti itu sulit ia temukan. Adegan ini juga membuat saya menangis terharu, karena sama seperti Forrest, bagi saya persahabatan adalah hal yang sulit saya temukan. Saya memang punya banyak sekali teman, namun yang mempunyai ‘tempat’ di hati saya hanya segelintir saja. Oleh karena itu, mereka sangat berarti bagi saya. Juga sama seperti Forrest, saya akan melakukan apa saja semampu saya menjadi seorang sahabat yang baik, dan mengungkapkan rasa sayang saya pada sahabat-sahabat saya. Saya benar-benar berusaha untuk tidak mengecewakan mereka.
Adegan saat ia bertemu Jenny di akhir film, juga sangat menyentuh saya. Saya senang melihat akhirnya Forrest dan Jenny dipersatukan lagi. Ternyata Forrest sudah punya anak, yang juga diberi nama Forrest oleh Jenny. Anaknya sangat pintar, dan Forrest terlihat bersyukur karenanya. Adegan ini tidak ada hubungannya dengan kehidupan saya sehari-hari, saya hanya menyukai bagian ini saja, karena di bagian ini saya dapat melihat cinta sejati yang tidak akan hilang oleh apapun. Dengan keajaiban Tuhan, mereka dipersatukan lagi, dan pasti ini menjadi salah satu bagian terbaik dalam hidup seseorang.
Film ini adalah film favorit saya. Banyak sekali pelajaran hidup yang saya dapatkan lewat Forrest, yang selalu berpikir ke depan, tidak pernah putus asa, walaupun banyak keterbatasan yang ia punya. Dari film ini saya mendapat banyak ‘pencerahan’ bahwa tidak ada satu alasan pun yang menghambat seseorang untuk maju, dan itu pula yang menjadi pegangan hidup saya untuk meraih semua harapan saya..

mettes + puasa = mantabb sobb!!

2008-09-14T02:26:00.000-07:00

Udah jam 5, yeaah bntar lagi buka, haha.. gw kayak anak kecil yg baru blajar puasa aja, nungguin buka udah ky nunggu topeng monyet. Btw, td pagi gw telat bangun bo!! OMG! Untung nyokp gw bangunin, klo nggak, wah bs2 mettes gw ga dapet nilai. Pan hri ini gw ada praktikum di kampus, praktikum psikotes gt (mettes = metodik tes), which is kita harus menjadi tester (penguji), dan kita harus bawa subjek sndiri bwt jd testee (yg diuji) nya. Nah td itu, jatah gw praktek jam 8. gw rencananya ga mau tdur abis sahur td, krn takut ga bangun, n trnyata filing gw buenuerr sodara2!! Gw tlat bangun, n gw paling benciii bgt kalo udh telat. Gw punya karakter perfeksionis, walaupun ga ideal, tapi kecenderungan sempurna-wanna-be gw tetep dominan. Gw rada ga nyaman, kalo ada something wrong dikit aja n gw slalu high effort for stay away from that. Unfortunately, td gw gak meng-high-kan effort to wake up earlier. Jadilah gw mandi Cuma 5 menit (tp gw mandi ko, bnran deh!), sisiran poni doang, n gw ngrasa muka gw masih berminyak krn nyuci muka cm ala kadarnya. Gw ga sempet menyalurkan gangguan narsisistik gw buat ngaca berlama2, menikmati pantulan diri gw di cermin, like I do normally, hahah! Yg tadi pagi itu bner2 ‘bukan sarah’ bgt, sarahsita biasanya full prepare, yg td itu siapa yaa? (sialnya, gw..) Aaaaarrgghh!!! Its really hard, I feel. Gw harus puasa sambil mettes, never ending college, senen ampe minggu, n dodolnya lagi, gw dpt jadwal praktikum nya kbnyakan di bln puasa. Oh my gosh oh my goshshshsh (pake logatnya cinta laura),,
Mettes + puasa = mantabb sobb!

life, oh life, oh life, doo doo doo dooo..

2008-09-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

aku kembali, iiih seneng bgt udah punya blog sndiri, yeeehaa!
ok, ga mau makin ngaco, gw mw to the point aja. gw mw ngomongin soal hidup nih.. hidup mnurut gw itu kayak sebuah pertandingan. kita dituntut utk pake strategi tertentu supaya bisa menang. dan yang namanya pertandingan, gak smuanya bisa menang dong, kan medalinya cuma 3, hehe.. jd kayanya kita harus manggut2 (setuju maksudnya) ama teorinya charles darwin yang (intinya) blg kalo yang bs bertahan itu cuma yang 'fit' aja. gmn caranya bwt fit? cari aja fitting room, hehe,, caranya tentu beda bwt masing2 org.
kebetulan minggu lalu gw disuruh bwt jurnal ama dosen gw, jurnalnya itu isinya ttg apa aja yang pernah kita alamin, pengalaman2 hidup yang membentuk karakter kita skrng ini. kmaren, pas gw buka buku gw (yg udah dibalikin ama mbak dosen), gw liat di hlm blakangnya, dan trnyata si dosen baik hati (sumpah dosen gw baik bgt, gw sayang bgt ama dia, i love u mbak!) gw itu ngasih kayak kartu kecil panjang yang isinya puisi tentang hidup. gw lupa apa isi 'pasti' puisinya, yg jelas di puisi itu dibilang kalo hidup itu maknanya banyak, bisa positif maupun negatif, dan kita sebagai pelaku kehidupan, hrs berimprovisasi sedemikian rupa, biar hidup ga gitu2 aja, biar kita juga bs survive.. only the strong can survive, kata 2pac shakur. we have 2 stay stand up with our own way..

my introduction

2008-09-13T07:20:00.000-07:00

ini pertama kalinya gw nulis blog. sbnrnya udh dr kpn tau gw pgn nulis, tapi gak sempet2 mulu, adaa aja alesannya, baru skrng gw ksampean nulis, trimakasih Tuhan..
sesuai namanya, blog ini gw tulis krn motif diri sndiri, utk kpuasan diri sndiri dan ga ada niatan utk memuaskan org lain, tapi gw brharap org2 yang sharing ama gw, bs terpuaskan, nah loh, bingung kan? yup gw jg, haha!
perkenalken, gw sarah, cewek standard berumur 20 tahun yg gemar makan coklat, hoho.. gw hobinya (again) makan, nulis, ngobrol, baca buku, dnger musik, dan smuanyaa yg bwt gw senang. yoi, hidup cm sbentar, ga tau ampe kpn kita bs brtahan di dunia fana ini, makanya lbh baik kita manfaatkan bwt hal2 brguna sarat akan kesenangan, sarat akan cinta.. halaah makin ngaco aja..
hm,, kayanya sgitu aja yah introduksi nya, namanya jg opening, ga bgus panjang2, ntar malah ga jlas ngomongnya, wong pendek ky gini aja udah ga jlas ko, ehehe..
sampai jumpa di blogkuw slanjutnya..