Kamis, Mei 07, 2009



i will no longer post anything on this blog, this blog will be deleted SOON, so you can find me on my brand new blog.. thank you so much, guests. and keep blogging!

*cheers, Sarah.

Sabtu, April 11, 2009

relationship and its own things..

My friend tagged me her note, and here is the note :

a super slut (not super star. cause she's an actress) take all of her clothes in front of my boyfriend. what should i do?
*make some scratch on her face?
*bunch her hair?

*still believe with him?

WHAT SHOULD I DO?!!! it makes me insane slowly.

I was confused what I should write her, after finally I wrote :

i think scratch her face should be great, you've long and sharp nails, ahahahahaaa! Ah don't take it too complicated, you haven't seen whether your BF is effected or not, the faith will set him. =)

It was bit shocking me, I know on previous that she’s fine with her BF, then why she came and tagged me a note like that? *questioning*

Do you think it’s helping or not? Whatever..

Tonight, my friend told me what chronologically happened. That girl took off her clothes while her (my friend) BF was watching TV, then swung her clothes near him (the BF), the BF was curious, “whose these?”, he babbled, a way before he looked that was a naked girl in front of his eyes. Every man should be shocked of course, and it could be a fantastic view for him, hahaha! The BF tried to be a trustworthy by telling my friend that accident. However, who wouldn’t be afraid if our partner tells about that to us? Everyone would, I think, and it’s normal in every similar condition.

I’m wondering, why that girl dared herself to be naked where she knows there’s a boy near her? In addition, why she didn’t use the toilet or another costume room!? Oh Lord, seems every relationship problem begins with a stupid matter. We usually hear or read or whatever the way is, somebody has a break up with her/his partner because an-uninvited-person. Then the faith will work, the trust will appear, back on how that person allow them to control the relationship, not by anger anymore. Anger is good for self-survival but not that good for relationship problems’ solution. I’m not an expert on love things, but I bet (as I told you before), the relationship is not about love alone, we need such several other things to get it long-lasting, and I think the faith, the trust, the hopes, and our religious manner are included.. =)

Sabtu, April 04, 2009

trashy story, don't read if you haven't got enough time

I don’t even know what my lecturers were thinking about. They gave me the deadline before Easter Holiday. Really, really asshole! Okay, due to catholic university, i always have 3 days holiday on Christians’ holy week, start on Maundy Thursday (no, not on Ash Wednesday, we still have a class and be busy), then Good Friday, Holy Saturday, finally end on Palm Sunday (or paschal). I’m now not going to explain about those days, I’m not a liturgy and I have nothing with it. I’m blind.

What I’m talking about is that I’m going to curse my pre-holy week assignments which make me swear that I’ll be dead on Wednesday, LOL. My nerve is just on the top of head, I become panicky, and for God’s sake, I HATE BEING LIKE THIS, I HATE!!! I haven't got good sleep, the time was running out (like a song's title, hahaha!), and was more important than money (no 'time is money' left, now time is more than everything. haah, too much!!)

I’m trapped in the catholic uni which has (too) high-standardization and we (students) need to work out of our capability if we want to graduate on the time. Hell what? I just want my certificate, my title, be a cum laude, why do they make it so hard? What an anal! *out of control, I’m sorry for my uneducated speaking* I’m not the follower of Christ but If Jesus resurrected (again?) in front of my eyes, I’d asked Him to see how shit my lecturers are. It’s not a good action to cursing lecturers, I know, but have to express my anger before it’s exploded, before I’m depressed, I have to save my self from anything, hahahaha, another too much!

my best friends, hahahaha! FCK! i don't need lecturer,
i just need these.

I almost cried at class this morning, my lecturer said about the deadline would be on Wednesday, and on Tuesday I have to collect my scoring-and-or-interpreting task (it’s not easy, I remind you! It is about somebody’s life, I need to be professional with extra compulsive and carefully thinking), then on Wednesday I’ll give a presentation but yet with collect that psychometrics-hectic assignment. Just (subjectively) saying, psychometrics is the most disgusting subject ever, and that is the only subject which makes me suffering *inhaling, exhaling*. Actually, all I need is a time out, just a while, why I can’t have it? I have a right to take my time out, but I think my lecturer doesn’t want to give it. Ok, if like that, i'll take it on my own.

Fiuhh. Tired. God, I’m tired. I’m bored, and silently crying. I feel like I can’t do this, seems like it’s getting harder and harder. This condition is so slugging me. I have to be more creative to keep my sane, to struggle with, and finally pass it. But how? Everyone gives me shit, everything is an ass, and everytime is a stuck out.
I think it’s enough. I have to back to my real life, face it through, dead or still alive, there’s always a strength.
i wish, i can enjoy my holy-week holiday fully. amin amin amiin.

According to Alexander the great : “a wise man knows when to stop”, and now I stop.

Minggu, Maret 29, 2009

we left each other

Weew, it has been a year! About a year ago, on a same date, same month, my ex and me decided to end our relationship up. I forgot this day firstly, but my ex suddenly text me, here is my via-text message conversation :

: “hei, hari ini tanggal 29 ya, hehehe! (hey, today is 29th, isn’t? LOL)”.
Me :
“hahah, OMG iya ya, aku lupa!
Ya ampun, udah setahun ya! (OMG, yes it is, I forget! Oh my, it has been a year!)”
Him :
“iya Rah, aku lagi ngerayain sama temen-temen, hehehe. Sejujurnya, aku nggak dan belum bisa menghapus kamu dari ati aku, tapi aku juga tau, aku nggak mungkin bisa balik lagi ke hidupmu, walaupun aku udah berusaha lupain dengan jadian ama cewek lain, sampe akhirnya putus lagi, tetep kamu yang ada di dalam hatiku.
Sampai detik ini setiap tanggal 29, aku masih ngerayain. (yes Rah, i’m now celebrating it with my friends, LOL. Honestly, I haven’t been, and can’t erase you from my heart. Although I’ve tried to forget you with have a relationship with another girl, until broke up, you’re still in my heart. Till this time on every 29th, I always celebrate it.”
: =) =) =) (read : speechless)
: “ ^_^ maaf Rah, aku masih cinta kamu. (I’m sorry Rah, I still love you)”
: =) =) =) (read : speechless again)
: “bisa nggak aku ketemu kamu?
Aku kangen. (can i meet you? I miss you)
: “bisa. Nanti aku kabarin kamu. (yes, we can. I’ll contact you later)”
: oke. Good night Rah, met bobo. (Ok, Good night Rah, sleep well)

After that, I was just thinking about him, about us. Our memories, our fights, our intimacy, togetherness, everything. We had so many things; and it’s definitely hard for me to forget those. We actually belong to the different religion, I am Muslim, and he’s catholic. My dad was disagreed with our relationship, and so was his mum. My mum never mentioned it, she is more liberal than my dad, and his dad is Muslim too, he was fine. His mum is the most disagreed person, she had tried more and more to separate us, and he (my ex) used to be careful in every step he takes if it’s related to me, like make a phone call, sms, go out, and so on. And you know, have a backstreet relationship isn’t always good and easy. Sometimes it’s getting harder in some situations. But believe it or not, my ex and me can through it for almost 3 years (in add, we broke up on a same day we started it. Sick, huh? MORE THAN THAT, I was dying in my first 2 month).

Although he’s not a worth guy for me to deserve, and he has less maturity than I wanted, I still love him, the way he was. I didn’t care how childish he was, all I want was him. Then finally, I got tired, I was sick, and he was so. We decided to leave each other. Surely, it didn’t mean I hate him. I can’t hate someone who has given his time to me, he’s no need to be hated. But relationship is not about love alone, we need many things beyond love itself, to build a good relationship. Love can make us tougher to face anything, and it has an integration with such several other things. That’s why I was daring to end it up, for the sake of our future. He deserves another girl as I deserve another boy. We just had spent time together to fill our heart, to acknowledge this life better, to understand how it supposed to be, and I’ve learned many things with my relationship, our relationship. Thank God I found him, without him, I can’t know these all. =)

Jumat, Maret 27, 2009

arrogance wouldn't give us anything

Crap, I’m disgusted to remember this moment, where I had to see my friend-of-friend attitude that (I think) so annoying. About a week ago, my friend introduced me to her friend, her (used to be) senior at high school but they’re now on a same profession. She had a good first impression actually, such a warm person, has well openness, and I think she’s extraverted. Last Saturday I met her for twice, and you know what? I saw her different, still warm and open, but with something inside. Proud to say she has achieved something in her job, she’s a good worker though, our republic must be proud of her as well. yes, her achievement (which she has reached with her team also) is in international scale, it’s not easy nor by quick step to get, it needs time for sure. She must be proud of herself, but unfortunately, she’s proud on a wrong way. I heard she said to my friend, “hey, you’re junior, and I’m senior. You junior have to practice more to be like me!” what? To be like, who? Her? Ew! I found an over-estimate there.

Just the way after I got home (oh, I stayed at my friend’s house, it was too late to go home *my home is far from PIM, the place where we met*, so my mum wanted me to just stay at her *friend* house to make it more safe), I told my friend about my perception. I said that she has too high self-perception. I asked whether it’s her natural attitude or not, and my friend was on a same perception with me. *objective enough, LOL*. Finally, with careful she told me everything about her. At her job, she *friend of friend* often separates junior and senior to the different level. My friend is the youngest member in that team, and ‘her senior’ is the only person who separating her, another seniors are not. Not only with her contributions, but also other things, like her way of talk, her weird English using (bad vocabs, bad grammars) even makes herself over confident. I saw it with my eyes, she often writes on my friend’s wall, and it’s weird. But still, with her over-confidence, she keeps that way. Actually, English is not our mother tongue; grammatical errors are always permitted, but please please please, just be humble if you realize you’re not a highly advanced, even though you’re the most advanced on earth., stay cool!! None will honour us if we’re arrogant. We have many goods though, all of us, and if there’s a good, there will be a bad, there’s always a positive near the negative, right? Natural being, isn’t? so I think, the most pleasant-and-easy thing we can do is being humble and low profile. We’re now still learning, learning and learning about anything, why do we have to be an arrogant?? No reason. Trustfully, arrogance wouldn’t give us anything except shit. =)

Kamis, Maret 26, 2009

awards from several friends

first, i'm so sorry for late posting, guys..
and thank you so much for these awards, mean that u're still remembering me, ahahahaha! mwah!

first and second award come from neno, thank you neno, you'll get older soon, hahahaha! *think about the birthday cake!*

the rules are :
* Put the logo in your post.
* Write 5 things you are passionate about aside from blogging.
* Tag 5 people on your lists and let them know you tagged them.

5 things I’m passionately enjoying beside blogging:
  1. sleeping!!!! Hahahaha, but I’m serious, I haven’t got enough good-sleep for the past 3 weeks, I think I need to have it then, to recharge my energy, and not to being weak, the only way is sleeping!
  2. Having around together with friends. Friends are amazing, aren’t they? They can impulsively change your mood; they all know how to enlighten our life.
  3. Reading book. That’s the best way to kill my loneliness and boredom.
  4. diagnosing patients, hahaha! Shit, I’m just contaminated with all college stuff, need to diagnose everyday makes me finally in love with diagnostic thingy. Good good good, that’s good for my GPA then..
  5. making sets on polyvore. Another way to kill my time. But I’m now rarely as I’m busy. Hhhh!
the rules of the second award :

  • The Blogger manifests exemplary attitude, respecting the nuances that pervades amongst different cultures and beliefs.
  • The Blog contents inspire; strives to encourage and offers solutions.
  • There is a clear purpose at the Blog; one that fosters a better understanding on Social, Political, Economic, the Arts, Culture and Sciences and Beliefs.
  • The Blog is refreshing and creative.
  • The Blogger promotes friendship and positive thinking.
and the last award comes from Helena, Qent and Neno, muah muah thank you all!

Here are the rules of the award:
• Put the award in one post as soon as you receive it.
• Don’t forget to mention the person who gives you the award.
• Answer the award’s question by writing the reason why you love blogging.
• Tag and distribute the award to as many people as you like.
• Don’t forget to notify the award receivers and put their links in your post.

the (only) reason why i love blogging : because i can share anything here, my thoughts, my feelings, my assertiveness, anything!!! i can improve my capability of writing as well.

okay, i've finished, i'm going to tag everyone who put my link on their blog. feel free to grab them guys, these are for you!


Rabu, Maret 25, 2009


I’m facing such a busy-stressful semester now, I can’t be often to update this blog and it’s bad at all. Blog writing is my hobby, and how come I can’t do my hobby? Darn. I’ve got only a year left to graduate my bachelor and seems it’s getting hard then. Nothing is easy in this world. According to the wise man, we have to pay (too) much attention to get what we want, to reach our dreams, to make our life worth living. I don’t want to sigh a lot, it won’t give me any better, but just another sigh.

I’ve chosen my minor, I chose clinical psychology, did I tell you before? That minor stereotyped as the hardest and busiest minor on entire psychological setting. I decided to choose this minor consciously, without force, spontaneity, and impulsivity, I did smart thinking, 100%! So I haven’t got any reason to be regret, and I won’t!! However, beyond everything, I’m only human who can feel depressed and sometimes overwhelmed, but hell-ooo, I’m not a baby now, I should and have to cope with all these. I don’t want to be spoiled, and I think I’m born to be strong, as what my family condition has treated me like, as my mum’s modeling, I’ll keep on silence if anything.

Ah damn, I can’t be longer here, I have to go to finish my assignment, but I’ll back soon. Tomorrow is holiday, hope I can spend at least my little time to write a post or (I hope) more.
See you guys later, and have a nice day.

And I want to say HAPPY CAKA NEW YEAR For you guys who celebrating it, may the silence bring us peace and awesomeness.. =)

Selasa, Maret 10, 2009

homework from priska and neno (again)

Ok, next tagging is from priska, and neno.

Here are the rules:
1. Make a list of ten (10) things or habits of yours that you don’t like, if you got more than ten, you can just write it all.
2. Don’t forget to write the reasons why you don’t like them.
3. Tag other ten (10) blogger friends.

on her blog, Priska said :
“by doing this we will see what kind of bad things and bad habits are the most mentioned by bloggers, and hopefully we will awake every blogger’s consciousness to be refreshed, and finally we will leave those habits behind us.” *good idea!*

And these are my 10 bad things/habits …
  1. I don’t like vegetables. Everybody needs veggies, which have (too) many vitamins. Unfortunately, I do really hate veggies, they’re all yucky.
  2. I’m a high-tempered and so emotional. Umm, there are 6 types of emotion: surprise, joy, sadness, fear, disgust, and anger. Especially anger and sadness, I usually express more than i suppose to do. Sometimes, I call it overreaction, LOL.
  3. I’m addicted to smoking. Everybody knows that smoking will make your age become shorter but for now my day will be uncompleted if I don’t smoke.
  4. if I hate someone, hard for me to be nice with her/him. Look Back to number 2, I’m a high tempered, so yeaah for me it’s a cause-effect. When I hate somebody, surely, I try not to get close to him/her, it’s the only solution, because I don’t want to hurt anybody. =)
  5. I’m lazy to attend my lectures. Hahaha! Do I need to explain further info about this? (but I think I’m not that lazy, if there’s something important, I’ll come no matter what!!)
  6. If I’m on a bad mood, I tend to avoid people. Look back to number 4, I don’t want to hurt anybody, and you know when we’re on a bad mood, we become unfriendly sometimes, include me. I think I’d better to be alone and stay alone at my place than I give them (people around me) some shit because my bad mood! =))))))
  7. I consider myself careless enough with my belongings (except boyfriend, LOL). No comment. LOL. It’s too true. I can lose my things and just realize at least an hour later. Doh!
  8. I’ll be dying if on woman’s period. Mood swing + headache + stomachache + nursea + bleeding + low back pain = DYING!!!! It’ll get worse on my first 3 days. It’s naturally given I know, but how can it be so sucks? I’ve visited the doctor and tell about it. I had a USG once, and it’s ok, no problem, it just because my hormone system that I don’t know for exact, biological thingy, hahaha!
  9. I hate math, and I think I have dyscalculia disorder (disability to learn grade-appropriate mathematics). However, seems it’s too much for dyscalculia, isn’t it? I hate math because I’m too lazy to learn more, and more people say if we want to be able to do math, we have to practice more and more, and me don’t want, so I can’t diagnose myself as a dyscalculia patient. LOL.
  10. I have a huge-addiction with chocolate (or some other choco-flavoured food). I can eat 5 chocolate bars per day, or triple scoops of chocolate ice cream, and never feel guilty with it, hahahaha. *how tragic!*
i'm tagging : Farah (this is my 'welcome' tag dear, i'm really glad that u've got a blog now, yaaaay!!) and everyone who interested to do this tag..

homework from Neno

The next HW comes from neno.

And Here are the rules:
1. Put this award on your blog(s).
2. Put your very or the most aib (silly, shame, weird, whatever!) photo with no editing of course.
3. Give this award to people you know (at least 2).

Here is the photo.. *be ready!!!*

Why did I choose this photo : IDK, hahaha, I thought this photo was embarrassing me. I was sick when my twin brother took this photo (he has been asked by my mum to take care of me, but why he did this? haaaah!) , and look at my face, seems like I was dying there, LOL.

I think aib is : something dishonoured.. (???)

The most aib person : Sarah Azhari, Rahma Azhari, and another members of Azhari sibling. OMG. They’re so notorious, and why they looks proud being notorious? *nobody knows!*

now i'm tagging :
brigadista, evilinme, ajeng.

happy homework-ing guys, cheers.

Sabtu, Maret 07, 2009

homework from Brigadista

Almost 10 days without blog-writing, makes my blog has less visitors, well at least makes me think like that =(. my college has been started, and this semester will be busier than last semester, I’m now on minor, I’ve decided to take clinical psychology as my minor, and that minor is always labeled as the busiest minor. Huff, but it’s a consequence, I know.

Okay, the next 3 posts will be a homework and/or award post. The first homework comes from brigadista.

Here are the rules:
1. Take a recent photo of yourself OR take a picture of yourself RIGHT NOW
2. DON'T change your clothes. DON'T fix your hair, just take a picture
3. Post that picture with NO editing
4. Post this instruction with your picture
5. Tag 10 people to do this.

lets see the photo, please don't laugh,, =D

This is my recent photo which taken on my birthday. That photo describes when I sliced the cake with smile, hahaha. My friends laughed over me when they looked me. They said, “What a narcissistic!”, then laughed out loud.

Brigadista also gave me award for free, here’s the award.. (cute doggy, LOL)

Now I’m tagging:

and anyone who gets interested with this homework, lets do it!!

Kamis, Februari 26, 2009

unstoppable praying

unstoppable praying
unstoppable praying - by sarahsita hendry(bday 27th feb) on Polyvore.com

Dear God,
I don’t know how to express how blessed I am. I’ll be 21 a plenty of hours later, and it’s a mercy for me. You have been giving so many special things since I was born, and I can’t stop thanking u for all these.
As my wishes, I don’t need any material gifts, all I need is u, God. Please always stand beside me, to face this crazy life, to make myself worth as a person, to make everyone who loves me to proud of me, and to warn me that I have to always remember you.
Thank you so much for everything, makes me think that I’m the best creature on earth. you make my day, you make my life. you make me strong, with everything's happened. you want me to survive, because you know i can, even though i think i can't, but show me, and don't want me to wait too long. i give myself to you, only you.